Grocery store. Brian stands at the opposite end of a vegetable display from another guy. Brian picks up a zucchini. The other guy picks up a larger one. Brian's like, okay, and picks up an even larger zucchini. The other guy picks one up that's even larger than that. Brian picks up the biggest one of all. The other guy nods grudgingly, because he knows a top when he sees one. Justin ambles up with a box of penne for which he even has a coupon. Brian's all, you clip coupons?! Justin notices Zucchini Man, and replies that he likes to save money. Brian sighs, "I didn't know you were so tight." Justin's eyes snap over to Zucchini Man as he replies, "Sure you did." Brian tells him to take the penne back and get rigatoni instead: "Fuck the fifty cents. And buy some Crisco, even if it's not on sale!" I just learned the other day that Crisco's not such a great lubricant. Knowledge is not always a happy thing. Zucchini Man snarks to some Leather Bear at another vegetable stand, "See that guy? That's Brian Kinney. He used to be the hottest stud on Liberty Avenue. Now? He's in a relationship." Brian frowns.
JerkAtWork.net. Ted's going over the books while Robbie looks over his shoulder. Robbie asks about his expenses. Ted asks for receipts. From his pants pocket, Robbie pulls out a slimy receipt for Keri lotion. Ted says he'll take his word for it. He totals up the percentage of subscribers, and the time online added to Robbie's base pay, and comes up with the grand total of...$18.72. Robbie is not thrilled, "You're telling me I spent eight hours whacking off for eighteen dollars?!" Ted tells him that most people do it for free. Robbie's all, hello, where's my promised $500 a day? Ted mutters that the amount was based on third-quarter projected earnings. Welcome to the wonderful world of dot-coms. But I'm not bitter. I'm unemployed, but not bitter. Robbie tries to look at this quarter's numbers, but Ted takes the ledger out of his hands and cautions, "When you commit to a fledgling enterprise, it's not about the money; it's about investing in the future and nurturing growth." No, it's really about the money. Robbie snaps that Ted needs to tell that to Robbie's dick: "It's worn to a nub!" Ted's really not taking this as seriously as he should, and mutters that he knows a good physical therapist. Robbie asks whether that's covered by the company health plan. Ted's all, what company health plan? He got an MBA from where? Better be careful; Robbie might just start a union. Robbie asks about the 401k he was offered, too. Ted stammers that they have to discuss that. Robbie's had enough of this shit, and bails. Ted tries to stop him, but Robbie is out of there. Forever. Didn't even wait for his $18.72 check, either.