Debbie -- who's wearing, God help us all, a see-through turquoise top over a black lace bustier -- asks Mike what's wrong with Brian. Mikes snaps that it's none of her business. Debbie tells him, rightly, to watch his mouth. Mike asks her, harshly, why she came to the bar. Debbie says that Vic was feeling better and they decided to go out after her shift at the diner. Michael yells, "The big deal is that I came here to hang out with my friends, NOT my mother!" Debbie pulls the whole "sweetie, you know I approve of your lifestyle" bit. Mike: "Maybe I don't want t you to approve of my lifestyle." Frustrated, "maybe I just want you to go home and...cry!" Seriously. And he stomps off, probably after Brian.
Brian runs across the street looking for his doppelganger and nearly gets run over by a car. He throws the driver The Sneer ( Brian). "Fuck me!" he groans, on not catching the shiny-shirted twin. "Love to," coos a passerby. Wait your turn, buddy. There's a line.
Yup, Mike comes out of the Lizard Lounge, looking for Brian. Can I call them, or what? And he runs into Tracy. Remember her? SOL from the Big Q Mart? Taking in Liberty Ave., SOL's all, "Isn't this wild?" She and her friends -- two mousy blonds as close as they can get to the curb without standing in the street, far, far from the gay people as possible, you know -- thought they'd "have a little adventure." How fu-un! SOL: "I mean, you always hear about this place, but who ever comes here?" Mike, shaking his head, affirms that he certainly doesn't. Until tonight, that is. Mike then goes through some lame explanation that he's with his gay friend, who he has sort of "an exchange program with, you know. I take him to football games and beer busts, he takes me to the opera and wine-tastings." Yeah, right. Gay or no, I have a hard time imagining Brian at the opera. SOL suggests that they all go for a drink, not realizing that idea is only second in ill-advisedness to her having a crush on Michael. Mike futzes that he's tired and on his way home. SOL: "That's probably a good idea. [seeing another man walk by and check out Mikey's butt] Stick around here long enough and you might end up switching teams!" Yeah, that's right. Laugh along with her, you chickenshit. Brian, glowering, stomps up to them saying, "I lost him. Fuck!" Mike introduces him to SOL, adding, "you know, FROM THE STORE." Brian, of course, cannot resist: "Tracy, of course, from the store. He talks about you all the time." Mike tries to drag him off. Brian tells Tracy that she's even prettier than Mike told him she was. Mike's about to burst into flame. Brian: "He'd never tell you this. He's far too shy. He likes you." Tracy's all moony-eyed and hopeful. Sucker!