Queer as Folk U.S.
No Bris, No Shirts, No Service

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A Miss is as Good as a Mile

Ted's house. Blake asks him if he owns it. Ted: "Oh, absolutely. Your home is your most important investment." On Blake's look, he adds, "It's what we tell our clients." He offers Blake a beer; Blake says he doesn't drink, and gets water instead. Ted checks his hair in a little mirror on the refrigerator, breaking the GM/SG Coalition's collective hearts. They sit on the couch. Blake tells Ted that he's sexy. Ted begs to differ. Blake says that he is, because he thinks he isn't. Ted tells Blake that he's beautiful, at any rate. This is all punctuated with awkward silences and fidgeting. Eventually, they start kissing. Hot man-on-boy action. Took them long enough.

Meanwhile, Brian's dancing with his smiley shiny-shirt twin. He leans in and whispers something into the guy's ear that makes him smile more. Emmett and Michael, watching, are amazed at Brian's technique. They wonder what he's saying! He doesn't even have to try! Actually, he's been chasing this guy all up and down the strip and all over the club, so he did have to try a little. And I'm sorry, but Brian can't dance. He looks like one of those marionettes. Jerky movements, no rhythm, somewhat reminiscent of Elaine on Seinfeld. It's very sad. And quite a shock. His shiny-shirt twin has to slow down just so he doesn't upstage him. Daphne and Justin are also watching, and Justin's is poor little disappointed face #3, for those of you keeping score at home. A little incredulously, Daphne points out the obvious: "Look he's got someone. Amazing! How does he do that?" Of course, she means it in a bad way.

Back to Ted's. More man-on-boy action. Blake pulls away to grab a vial of something. Ted asks him what it is, and is told it's GHB. I have no idea what this is, so go ahead, roll your eyes. ["I didn't either, but apparently it's a rave drug that was just criminalized this year. To learn more about GHB, check this out." -- Wing Chun] He pours, like, the whole vial into a glass of water. He says sex is awesome with it. So, he doesn't drink, but he takes this stuff? Ted downs most of the water, even though Blake tries to get him to slow down. They start making out again.

Babylon. Brian and the shiny-shirt twin are still dancing. Emmett and Michael are still watching. Brian, who just can't get enough, gestures "come hither" to this shirtless muscle-bound guy a couple of couples over. The guy shakes his head. Michael and Emmett are open-mouthed in amazement at Brian's brazenness! The shirtless guy eventually boogies his way over. Brian still can't dance. Brian pulls the smiling twin and the shirtless guy together and says something or another. Emmett: "How does he do it? What does he say?" Michael: "We'll never know. But whatever it is, he says it for all of us." Oh, puh-leeze. I don't think you or Emmett are ever going to be in invited to this particular party, Mikey. I'm only going to say this one more time: you are NOT Brian. And Brian's pretty happy about that. Get a life. Now.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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