Queer as Folk U.S.
No Bris, No Shirts, No Service

Episode Report Card
Camper: B- | Grade It Now!
A Miss is as Good as a Mile

Michael finds Emmett and Ted. Emmett is wearing...something that's hurting my eyes. I found my glasses last week after being blinded by Debbie's outfit, and I put them on. Oh, yes, it's a rainbow plaid blazer over a white shirt with a butterfly collar. Emmett's obviously taken classes at the Carrie Bradshaw School of Inappropriate Fashion recently. Emmett is accompanied by a young, thin Japanese man, wearing all black. Ted is dressed like a normal human being. Michael voice-overs that he's jumping ahead: "Let's go back an hour."

The film speed rewinds, back out the door, down the street, up the stairs of some building, over to the guys' gym. Brian is lifting weights, and Michael sits next to him, in his nice suit. "I told you," Brian says, "I'm not going to the munchers' brunch." Munchers Brunch. That would be a good name for an all-girl rock band. Michael says it's not for them -- it's for Brian's son. Brian retorts that Gus is only his son when Melanie and Lindsay want his money. ["That's not a bad point, judging from the recaps, anyway." -- Wing Chun] Michael says that he shouldn't punish Gus because of them. Brian replies that the kid won't even notice. Michael tells him not to be so sure, he read somewhere -- Brian interjects, "Where, Marvel Comics?" -- okay, I'm as big a fan of Professor X as the next high-school geek, but enough with the lame-o comic-book references that never go anywhere. They sound forced, they sound stupid, they make my head hurt with a deep and abiding pain. All right? All right. Anyway, Michael continues that babies are sensitive to their environments, even in the womb; tension affects babies adversely, while, "listening to Mozart makes them smart, or something like that." Brian: "Well, how do you think listening to two dykes go down on each other for the past nine months will affect him? Christ, he'll probably end up being straight." Mike: "All the more reason why he needs his dad!" Can't argue with that.

Michael follows Brian into the steam room. Brian is wearing a towel now; Mike is still in his suit. Michael is railing at Brian to stop acting like a child, but soon loses Brian in the steam. When he finds him, Brian has found somebody else. There's a guy sitting on one of the benches, clutching his penis over his towel. Michael walks up behind Brian, who's already starting to jack off under his towel. Is Michael running into Brian having sex going to be a regular thing every week? Just want to know so I can order more Maalox. Of course, Brian is always having sex, so the odds are pretty much in Michael's favor. I don't think I should have to suffer, though.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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