Queer as Folk U.S.
No Bris, No Shirts, No Service

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A Miss is as Good as a Mile

Justin asks Debbie whether she remembers him; she makes him turn around: "I never forget a butt. Especially a cute one." She and Vic laugh. Justin reintroduces himself and introduces Daphne. On the other side of the room, Mike freaks out. Debbie finally notices her son and starts gesturing wildly and "woo-hooing" You know, "Woo-hoo! Mike! Woo-hoo!" Just trying to be clear. Mike pretends not to notice her, because he's twelve. Justin tells Debbie that he's looking for his "friend," Brian. Vic: "I could have guessed that." Debbie adds that everybody's looking for Brian. Sadly, because that list includes her mentally-challenged son. She points Brian out, downing a shot behind the bar. Daphne: "That's Brian? He's' so old! And skinny! You can do way better than that." I stop laughing long enough to check my savings account and see if I have enough money to put her through college. Justin tells her to shut up. Debbie bets Vic five bucks that "[Brian] nails [the other shiny-shirt dude] before midnight." Justin is distressed.

Meanwhile, Mike interrupts another of Brian's trysts AGAIN, telling him that Justin's there, and talking to his mom, of all things. Brian tells Mike to ignore him: "He's all right." Mike's like, didn't you hear me, he's talking to my MOM. Brian adds, "In fact, he's kind of sweet." At which point I screamed at the screen, "What?! Didn't you hear Mike? He's talking about JUSTIN." Brian tells Mike to relax, and then turns back to find the shiny-shirt twin gone. And blames Michael. Brian is not very sweet, but at least he's not talking to Debbie, so maybe Michael doesn't mind so much. Brian stalks off.

Debbie -- who's wearing, God help us all, a see-through turquoise top over a black lace bustier -- asks Mike what's wrong with Brian. Mikes snaps that it's none of her business. Debbie tells him, rightly, to watch his mouth. Mike asks her, harshly, why she came to the bar. Debbie says that Vic was feeling better and they decided to go out after her shift at the diner. Michael yells, "The big deal is that I came here to hang out with my friends, NOT my mother!" Debbie pulls the whole "sweetie, you know I approve of your lifestyle" bit. Mike: "Maybe I don't want t you to approve of my lifestyle." Frustrated, "maybe I just want you to go home and...cry!" Seriously. And he stomps off, probably after Brian.

Brian runs across the street looking for his doppelganger and nearly gets run over by a car. He throws the driver The Sneer (™ Brian). "Fuck me!" he groans, on not catching the shiny-shirted twin. "Love to," coos a passerby. Wait your turn, buddy. There's a line.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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