Babylon. It's Big Dick Contest Night, and a raging drag queen is running around the stage with a ruler, measuring the pantless studs on-stage. Such a hard job. So to speak. Brian and Telson watch from the balcony. Telson's showing Brian pictures of his kids. Brian's says that's definitely a first for him at Babylon. We've all heard Telson's story before: he got married "before he knew" (right) and "by the time I knew what I was it was too late to change things," and he didn't really want to -- why should he destroy the life and family he loves? Brian: "So, you take care of business while you're away taking care of business." Okay, I have to interject here: the drag queen on the stage just disqualified a black guy (same one from Woody's) for having the smallest penis in the contest. Yeah, right, maybe in the Universe of Unfunny Ironies, but not in this one. That's one stereotype I feel obligated to stand by. The winner of the contest is a twinkie with a ten-inch penis. It's a wonder he can even walk. All the Hot Dancing Gay Boys take the stage as the contest ends. Brian asks Telson if there's anyone he wants to meet, "I happen to know the winner." Hah! Telson, practically salivating, says the twinkie's not his type, but there is someone at the club he's interested in. Brian asks him who. Keep up, Brian. Telson just smirks at him until Brian gets it. Brian snorts and sips his drink, shaking his head. Set phasers on "slimy."
Mike and Brian in Brian's jeep the next day. Mike's shocked: "That's sexual harassment!" And he would know. Brian asks Mike to remind him to sue. Mike asks what Telson looks like, and Brian replies, "Like the kind of guy that if he dangled his dick in front of you, you wouldn't look twice. But if he dangled his account in front of you, you might consider it." Brian ALWAYS gets the worst lines. Mike laughs; Brian wouldn't actually do something like that, would he? Brian says he's done shady things before, and Mike points out, "That was for fun. You've never done anything like this." Brian gets all tough: "You are so beautifully naïve, Michael. This is business. You either fuck or get fucked." Mike: "Yeah, but which end are you on?" Word.