Liberty Ave, y'all. Not as pumping as usual. Must be a weekday, or something. The Boys are at the diner, and Brian's bitching about his day: "If I don't get this client, I'm fucked. And without lube." Emmett: "And that's a bad thing?" Um, Ouch. Mike and Ted sit across from them, Ted triggering my affection for strait-laced men in his crisp white button-down and black sweater vest. And a perfectly knotted black tie to match, too. Cu-ute. Mike looks like Mike. Debbie walks up, and cracks, "It's amazing how you can work anal intercourse into any conversation." Brian rolls his eyes, "Yeah, you try spending an evening with some breeder from Altoona, smoking cigars and talking about pussy." Does the breeder have to be Telson? Ted: "Yeah, I'd love to hear what you have to say about pussy." Brian shoots back, "That it's a good thing you've got one, because you wouldn't know what to do with a dick." Burn! Ted looks hurt, but I'm pretty sure Brian's just kidding around. Oh, my god, did I just defend Brian outside of a fight with Melanie?! This damn show is going to be the death of me. Debbie sits down next to Michael and makes a joke about them getting dessert here, or at a bar down the street. For good measure, she pinches Michael's cheeks. As you can imagine, he's thrilled. Ted says he has some work to do at home. Emmett replies, "You'd think after checking out all those numbers during the day, you'd want to check out some at night." Ted replies that after his near-death experience, it's time to re-examine his "near-life. Woody's and Babylon are no longer deductible expenses." Awww. Sad Ted walks out the door. Emmett hopefully tells the rest of the table, "He'll be back." Mike says he can't go out either; he has to go back and restock the store. With SOL. Brian and Emmett rail on him to just tell her the truth. Emmett: "I always say, come clean -- or don't come at all." Hee-hee. Mike says they laugh at "faggots" at his job. Brian says that the only people who deserve to be laughed at are the ones who lie. And, by the way, he adds, Mike should stop leading SOL on. Mike protests that he's not: "We're just restocking cartons of toilet paper." Brian retorts, "Which you can use, because you're so full of shit." WORD. Mike walks out, frowning at him. Brian slaps the back of Emmett's head in solidarity. Emmett gives him a sidelong withering look and drawls, "Don't touch me." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!