Dr. Dave's car outside of Michael's apartment. After thanking him for dinner, Mike asks Dr. Dave if he wants to come up. Dr. Dave declines because of an early appointment. Mike leans over and kisses him, which Dr. Dave stiffly returns. And then Mike drops his head down into Dr. Dave's lap. Dr. Dave is shocked, like he's never heard of such a thing! He pulls Mike's head up and asks what Mike's doing. It's called a blow job. All the hip gay men are getting them these days. Disconcerted, he tells Mike that he asked him out because he wanted to get to know him, "not for a quick fuck." Gasp! He opens Mike's car door, and Mike gets out, clearly confused.
Babylon! Oh, Hot Dancing Gay Boys, how I've missed you! There's nothing like an oiled-up man wearing a sparkly cowboy hat and flinging around a boa to brighten up your day. Mike finds Emmett and Ted in the middle of the dance floor. Emmett's hugging Ted with one arm, telling him, "I knew you couldn't stay away!" Ted replies, "I'm here strictly as an observer." So am I, but observing is fun, too. Look at the Shiny Cowboy Hat Men! Mike's in a pissy mood, and Emmett calls him on it: "Somebody ate something that disagreed with him." That's the problem, actually. Somebody didn't. Mike grabs Ted's beer bottle, and whines that Dr. Dave paid for dinner, and then didn't want to sleep with him. Mike drinks some beer while Emmett comes up with creative excuses for why not, like maybe Dr. Dave has a bad prostate or only one testicle. Ohhhkay. Ted grabs his beer bottle back from Mike...but wipes off the top with his sleeve before he drinks from it again. Hah! I'm leaning towards Ted and Emmett getting their own show. Who's with me? Mike whines that Dr. Dave didn't want to sleep with him "because [he's] not Brian!" What the hell are you talking about? He hasn't even met Brian. And if he wanted someone "hot" like Brian, then why did he stalk you to the store and ask you out and buy you an expensive meal? You sported a woody in his office, for god's sake. He knows you're a dork. Ted and Emmett agree with me that that's bullshit. Emmett opines that the Doc is the romantic type: "Maybe he won't fuck you until the second date." Right, haven't you people ever heard of The Rules? Oprah did a show on it. Surely the lives of straight people aren't such a big mystery. There's shows about us on television, you know. Anyway, Michael doesn't care: "I'm going to find somebody who wants me!" There's someone standing right in front of you, asshole. Or have we so soon forgotten Ted's Armoire of Hidden Love? Ted obviously hasn't, from the look on his face.