Michael's at work in his empty, lonely store when Brian walks in. He grabs the piece of paper Michael's working on and teases him about it. Something about a superhero, blah, blah, blah. Michael's moaning and complaining about all the sex Brian gets. He asks why Brian hadn't told him. He says it was two years ago, and nobody gives a shit that he had sex with Ben. Brian says that Michael's jealous: "But, are you jealous because I did it with him or because he did it with me?" Michael calls Brian an arrogant prick. He says Brian shouldn't give a shit since everybody's slept with him. "Who hasn't?" Michael asks. "You," Brian answers. But we've already had this exchange before a million times, haven't we? Michael pouts. Brian starts to leave, but walks back and jams Michael against a wall. His hand digs into Michael's crotch and grabs his dick. Brian says he knows Michael wants to know what it's like. This starts the Worst Kiss Ever, where Michael looks like his face is jammed against glass. Brian appears to be bored with this lousy kissing. He's only kissing the right side of Michael's face, anyway. Michael gasps, pants, and tells Brian to get out. The sound of Brian's leather jacket is the loudest thing in the room. Brian leaves, saying, "I know your secret identity." PoutMan.
Ted is very upset that he's got to pimp for Garth. Nobody is listening to him moan and complain, however. Mel and Lindz are loading up the trunk of their car with gifts they're returning, debating last-minute about which ones they actually want to give back. Melanie insults a family member of Lindsay's, but that doesn't seem to bother her. Mel tells Ted that those people all use each other to get what they want from each other. That's how they work. Mel says it's Ted's call if he wants to play that game. Pointless scene and a waste of the girls.