Previously: There seemed to be a small problem with Mercury, but it all got worked out. Brian went to Miami. Justin didn't. Mel and Lindz said, "I do."
We open with just blue lights and mostly naked, mostly wet men. Aw, yeah. Keep it coming. ["As it were." -- Wing Chun] Wet torsos. Wet chests. Flashing lights. A man who looks suspiciously like a woman. It's the Madonna "Express Yourself" video in full effect. In fact, I keep waiting for someone to shout, "Cut!" Wet. Naked. Wet. Naked. Dancing. Dancing. I imagine one guy sitting in front of the television with all of his friends, his finger poised in the air, ready to jut out as he screams, "There!" All of his friends then applaud and whoop, and the girl who's had a crush on him since the seventh grade proudly gushes, "Your cock looked amazing!" He says, "Thanks." She blushes but doesn't say another word because CockBoy is now kissing his boyfriend passionately in front of everybody and the group is so happy that their model friend finally made the transition to television. This is what my brain does while we're watching mostly naked, mostly wet men dance. The only not naked guy in the entire building is Michael, who is so unable to dance to a rhythm (or rather, dance to the quiet, since they have to mime the dance sequences to get the sound levels for their dialogue) that he has to stand on Ben's feet and dance like a six-year-old girl at a wedding reception. Ben and Michael attempt sexy talk, but Michael's way too shy to say words like "fuck," "ass," or "suck." He just starts talking about licking between things and then blushes until Ben simplifies by saying, "I say let's get out of here and fuck." You'd think that Ben would have Michael's full attention, but that's only because Brian wasn't directly in Michael's line of vision. The second he is, however, Michael's bee-lining over to Brian's side, practically pushing Justin out of the way to sniff Brian's neck, and hear all about Brian's sexcapades in Miami. Brian moans that it rained every day and he never left the hotel. Ben concludes that it must have been a rocking success. It was. "Not as good as the one a couple of years ago," Brian says to Ben. Ben takes too long to agree, and Michael puts together that Ben once attended a White Party that Brian also attended. Ben says that he was there for "research." So that's what the kids are calling it these days. Michael pulls Ben back to the dance floor, forgetting the plans they made only seconds ago.