Queer as Folk U.S.
One Degree Of Brian Kinney

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Insert Brian Benben Joke Here

Ted's still babbling about his sad little life, and his two prisoners have completely died inside. Garth rescues them and takes Ted away. They hate him so much that they visibly shudder as he leaves. So do I, boys. Wait. Let me put it in Queer as Folk dialogue: "So do I, boys. So. Do. I."

Garth tells Ted that he went to his website and was impressed with one young boy named Rex. He'd like to get to know Rex, and he'd like Ted to make that possible. Ted's crestfallen, realizing that Garth is using him to get to hot guys. Why the hell else would you be invited, Ted? You'd never spoken to the man before, and he knew nothing about you but the card you slipped into his hand that advertised your gay porn website. If you weren't asking him to ask you for a stud, then why introduce yourself with your porn site?

Debbie's chatting with the locals, complimenting them and then asking about Dumpster Boy, using the rendering that Justin made. Nobody's seen the kid before.

Jennifer's having less luck on her side of the street, because she doesn't know anybody and doesn't know how to ask someone to take a flyer without looking like a Christian Coalition mother.

Debbie asks Jennifer how it's going. Jennifer says that she feels like the Invisible Woman. Debbie tells her that she's got to grab boys by the dick and shake it. Jennifer grabs one man's hand and shakes it. Debbie asks how his warts are doing. He tells Jennifer that the warts weren't on his hand. They appear to be on his chin. He says he does recognize Dumpster Boy as someone who went to the Liberty Spa. Debbie thanks him. Jennifer asks if that's a gym. "Not exactly," says Warts.

Okay, somehow Debbie and Jennifer can just walk into this spa and start asking men if they know Dumpster Boy. They walk in on sex acts and just wander around this mostly empty building. How do these places work? There's no doorman? No membership fees? What the hell? And why doesn't anyone seem to mind them being there? Whatever, suspend the disbelief even further. "Hey! No broads in the bathhouse!" Bad Canadian Bad Guy announces. Another guy tells Debbie and Jennifer that he does recognize the kid. He admits that he never got the kid's name. The camera shakes around as Jennifer screams that nobody ever catches a name before they fuck. Then she adds, "Sorry." We go back to this other guy. He's also a Bad Canadian Actor. Here are his lines: "I followed him to his room. We were doing it when he starts gasping. I'm thinking, 'Hey! I'm pretty good!' Turns out he's having an asthma attack. He sucked on his inhaler and was fine. But by then the magic kinda wore off. You know." Debbie asks if it was a prescription inhaler. "I think so. That's all I know." Thank you, Plot Device! Read those lines like you're mumbling them to yourself to learn them quickly, and there's the line reading he delivered. Debbie thanks him for his help. Bad Canadian Bad Guy kicks the girls out of the bathhouse.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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