Previously: Michael found out Justin's seeing Ethan. Ben warned Michael not to tell Brian about it, using a word that caused three days of forum discussion. Brian doesn't really care anyway, since he never cares about anything. Ted has fallen for Emmett in the most clichéd, overacted way possible.
In case you're wondering, you can find Michael's comic book shop at 548 Wemberley Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA, 15233. It's called Red Cape Comics. It doesn't require any postage or a return address to send a box to them, and it's also okay to abbreviate "attention" to: "Att'n." Michael opens up the box with a knife. The first issue of Rage is all ready to go. Justin and Michael are stoked. I guess they've never seen a copy before? "Collector's Item," they've optimistically written across the cover. Michael and Justin suck each other's dicks for a while, proud of their work. Brian walks in and takes a copy. He asks the boys if they're ready to sell their work on the open market. "I hope people like it," Michael whines. Justin asks why they wouldn't. "You have no idea how vicious queers can be," Brian says, and I'm pretty sure y'all can take that as a shout-out. Brian's got postcards for a Babylon party celebrating Rage's kick-off. Postcards! That means this comic's going to be a sure success! Justin and Michael are stunned as if (a) Brian hadn't already said he was going to do this, and (b) this isn't what Brian does each and every time something like this comes up anyway. Brian says he's alerted the "gay press" and set up interviews for Justin and Michael. He's put in advertising in "all the fag rags and top queer websites." Look for the Rage pop-up on the Television Without Pity forum near you. Brian says that soon they'll be retiring to Palm Springs, wearing muumuus and sipping mimosas. I might pay money to see Brian in a muumuu. Justin excuses himself for "class." Brian asks if he'll see Justin tonight. Justin answers with a noise that comes out: "Usher." Poor Brian. Michael's so concerned about him that he kisses him full and hard yet again to let Brian know that he "really cares" and is "concerned" and "practically single." He pulls Brian in for a hug and tells him that he loves him. "Me too," Brian says back.
Good shit, someone put a neon green bow tie in Debbie's wig. She's marveling that the characters in the comic book look just like people in real life. How has Debbie not seen one sketch out of this comic book when we've been subjected to two months of hype? I do appreciate that they're drinking bottles of Turning Leaf, letting us know just how broke the Novotnys are. Debbie asks why she's not in the comic. Ben raises an eyebrow so we know that he's the one that should be in the damn rag, what with the superthigh and all. Debbie makes Ben eat seconds, yelling at Michael that Ben's one of the family now. "My sincere condolences," Michael says to Ben. Debbie whips Michael in the face with her Number One, increasing its value by seven dollars and twenty-three cents. Debbie says that membership has its privileges. This means that Ben's now invited on the family's annual vacation. They go to the Poconos for two weeks out of every year. You know, the annual family vacation. What? You've never heard of this? Well, you know. Ben loves the invite, but probably won't be going, since he's going to be in Tibet. The huh? Ti-who? What's this about Tibet? You've never mentioned anything about Tibet before, Ben! For some reason, Ben thinks that now is the perfect time to drop on Michael that he plans to spend about six months on the other side of the planet. Great, seeing as how Debbie's always Ben's cheerleader. I think the pockets on Ben's shirt are crooked. Oh, I should mention, in honor of the last episode of the season, I'm drinking while recapping. DWR. That's me. I'm on the first beer. The problem is that it's already almost two in the morning. This means that I probably won't finish until tomorrow. And does that mean I have to start drinking in the morning as I finish this recap, or will I have to finish the 'cap totally sober? These are the questions that will keep me up for the rest of the night.