I don't know what to tell you guys. It appears that the entire budget of this season has gone into two things. One was that tiny animated Rage thing a few episodes ago, where Rage flew over Gayopolis. The other is this: a small stage play re-enacting the story of the comic book, which we fucking know by heart now because we were there for Justin's bashing, we were there when Michael thought of the idea, and we were there for every excruciating moment when they drew this frame by frame. Now, for some reason, we're subjected to the story yet again, when we already know it. This time it's "acted" out by Brian, Justin, and Michael lookalikes on a giant stage with that same announcer with the scary eyes. Do I have to recap it? Because I feel like I've been recapping this same bashing story for about a year. Oh, because I pretty much have. Let's all move on together, shall we? They all act like they haven't seen a giant stage in the room this entire time with giant set pieces that say "Gayopolis." Why couldn't Justin get some kind of flashback having to watch the fake Justin get bashed on stage? And will anyone buy the comic now that they know the entire story? And how does having men think each other queer and then beat each other to death do any justice for gay people? That's not advancement at all, is it? I do like the cut to Zephyr as he has to watch J.T. and Rage kiss passionately.
More dancing. Brian asks why Justin and Michael aren't thanking him. Michael leaves to get a drink. Brian asks what Michael's problem is. Justin says that he and Michael aren't speaking to each other right now. He says they each think the other is a complete asshole. Brian says that he just spent a fucking fortune on this party, so they need to sort it out. "After what he told you?" Justin asks. Like Michael caused all of this. You put Ethan's dick in your mouth, honey. Michael was only gloating. You should have seen that coming from Season One, Episode One. Brian says that Michael was just looking out for him. Like Zephyr looks after Rage. He tells Justin that if he wants his comic book to be a success, he needs to put his personal feelings aside. "And don't PISS on your achievement." Never a second of subtlety on this show.
Dancing. Em goes to the bar and finds Ted. Ted tries to get away, but Em pulls him back and the clichéd conversation ensues. Em says that Ted's embarrassed, but that there's no reason to be. Ted says he made a fool of himself. Em says that Ted's not a fool. It takes courage to say what's in your heart: "More courage than saving the world from archvillains." Well, not really, but whatever. Ted labels himself "Pathetic Man," and then pouts. Em says the following: "You're not pathetic. You're funny and witty. You're brilliant. It's true! That's what makes you sexy, because you're so, so smart. You know what they say. The brain is the second sexiest organ. Which is not to say that the rest of you is not hot. Hi! Look at those pecs!" I don't fucking believe this. Emmett proceeds to talk himself into liking Ted by lying about Ted's assets. They make out. I'm kinda grossed out. Why does this have to happen? I hate this! I hate it so much! Emmett looks like he's under some kind of hypnotic control. Maybe Ted's an evil archvillain and Em's under some kind of queer superpower that forces him to fuck pathetic losers! Help! Rage! Help your gay friend in distress!