Queer as Folk U.S.
Out With A Whimper

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
"Ooh, Look, Honey! A Little Skit!"

Lame. Ted's leaning practically on Emmett as Em tries to do his job. Ted's just beaming up at Emmett. So lame. Em asks if Ted needs to get to the warehouse for a jizzboree or some shit. Ted just laughs and laughs and laughs. He says he misses Emmett being there. Em says there are plenty of other "jerkers" now. Ted calls Em "pal" and "buddy," using those moments to touch Emmett on the tummy. I'd call that a "bad touch," Em. Ted grabs Emmett's wrist and calls him a "loving friend." Em just waits and waits and waits for...

...saved by the lesbians. Mel and Lindsay walk in, free from subplots, ex-girlfriends, or children. They came by to see the new gay punk kid clothes Em's store is carrying. Quick fashion plug. Em pulls the girls away from Ted and begs them to take Ted out of his sight for the rest of the day. Lindsay and Melanie think it's so damn cute that Ted's suddenly developed his creepy crush on Emmett.

Lindsay and Mel drag Ted out of the shop by the arm. Ted waves to the closed door in the most pathetic motion I've ever seen. Mel and Lindsay make Ted confess his crush by teasing him that Em was with a hot guy last night. Ted breaks down and says that he can't explain it. I'll try: desperation. Not you, Ted; the writers. Lindsay says that she and Mel were friends first. "Yeah, well, you're lesbians, so..." Ted says. Melanie hits him with a bag before Ted can finish the thought, which seems to make no sense at all. Lindsay says that friends turn into lovers all the time. "Even fags," Mel says. Lindsay laughs. Oh, man. I need another beer. But it's almost 2:15 and I know I'm going to fall asleep soon and there's no way I'll finish the damn thing before I fall asleep. We haven't even really gotten to the Justin/Brian stuff, and I know I'll get sleepy when that happens. Mel and Lindsay convince Ted to tell Emmett how he really feels. If Ted thinks this is a good idea, there's a statue from Chuck that Mel and Lindz might want to sell him.

Brian's trying to get Ethan to star in some commercial for something blah blah, whatever. He'll get lots of money, blah blah, not true. Gay commercial, lots of money, blah blah, overhead lighting focusing on two coffee cups instead of the two actors in the scene. Ethan's confused, Brian's sexy, blah blah, tiny reference to Iron City Beer. Justin walks in and sees his world shatter right before his eyes. Brian gives his card to Ethan just as Justin walks up. Ethan knows who Brian is. It is apparent that Brian knew who Ethan was from the beginning. Uncomfortable silence ensues until Ethan excuses himself. Brian tells Ethan that the job is his if he wants it. Ethan answers with a heavy round of mouth-breathing. Justin finishes the silent sentence. Oh, it's like I had another beer, but I didn't. Justin finishes the silent sentence? What am I, a romance novelist?

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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