Queer as Folk U.S.
Out With A Whimper

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
"Ooh, Look, Honey! A Little Skit!"

Debbie's passing out postcards for the Babylon party all over Woody's. I love how all of the extras patiently tolerate Debbie interrupting all of their conversations. Where's the smoking at this bar? Vic compliments Debbie on her agent skills. Debbie kisses pouting Michael's cheek. She asks what's wrong. He complains about Ben going to Tibet. "He's out of his fucking mind," Debbie says. Michael complains about his "cosmic destiny," where every time he falls in love with someone, he leaves town. Oh, every time? Because I think that Brian still lives in Pittsburgh. And that's really your one time, Mike. Debbie says that Ben can't go, since nobody knows where the fuck Tibet is, and it's too dangerous. The Jewish lady then crosses herself and wonders what would happen if Ben got sick way out in that remote wasteland known as Tibet. Michael tells Debbie to stop scaring him. Debbie says that somebody needs to talk some sense into Ben. "If you ask me," Vic starts, "he's making perfect sense. Remember Christmas Eve, three years ago? I was lying there in that hospital bed, attached to every goddamn tube known to man." You can practically feel the words "Oh, shut up, Vic!" fly through the screen. Vic says that as soon as he got up, he bought tickets to Italy for himself and Debbie. He doesn't finish the story, so I'm pretty sure that they never made it to Italy. "Ben's not dying!" Michael says, pointing out the differences between strapping young Ben and withery ol' Vic in the most tactful way. Vic says that Ben might not be "dying" at this moment, but he's going to die eventually, and just about eight days ago Ben was too sick to bowl.

"Your boyfriend's an asshole," Ethan says. "He's not an asshole," Justin says. And there's a year and a half of any Brian Kinney forum thread summed up in eight words. "He's honest," Justin says. "If anyone's an asshole, I am, for lying." And there's the rest of the forum, all summed up. Ethan asks how Brian found out. Justin says he doesn't know, and there's no way Brian would have told him. Ethan throws the hundred-dollar bill back at Justin and tells him to tell Brian to keep his donation to the arts. I swear, Justin's all, "Are you sure? One hundred dollars is a lot of money." Justin has no pride, no morals, nothing. "I once had to suck three cocks for this. You just got it for a little fiddling and for fucking my boyfriend's boyfriend. You're lucky. Keep the hundred. Think of all the drugs you could buy with it." Ethan drinks wine from the bottle and starts with the judging: "At least I know why you're with him." Because Justin's a money-grubbing whore! "God, he's beautiful," Ethan says, almost nauseous at Brian's beauty. Oh. That's not exactly what I thought Ethan was going to say. "He must be great in bed." Uh, what's going on? Another threesome? "Yeah, he is," Justin says, again with the understanding of humanity and feelings and such. Ethan rips the hundred-dollar bill out of Justin's grip. Justin says it's when they're not in bed that they have problems. Oh, that helps. Ethan says he's not the answer. He has to think about himself. There's a big competition coming up that he needs to practice for, and can't waste time on Justin anymore. "I want to stay," Justin says. "Well, you can't," Ethan says. "You can't. So just go back to your boyfriend. And I'll go back to my violin." He says the last line in a whisper. I can't help laughing every time this kid overacts like this. "I'll go back to my violin!" Is that a threat or a promise? Ethan starts grinding away with his back turned so we can't see that he's not playing. Justin tries to get Ethan to talk to him, but Ethan's fixing to put a bow in Justin's tummy if Justin doesn't back the fuck up. Justin leaves, stiltedly.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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