Last week: Fellow GLC honoree Howard Bellwether trashed Brian in a newspaper article, and Brian didn't think he did anything to deserve an award in the first place. Debbie told Mike to get a life already, because Brian already has one. Mike pouted that Brian isn't the reason he came back to Pittsburgh. No one really believed him. Emmett worked for hypocrites who kept insisting on having sex with him. Lindsay grabbed Brian by the balls and convinced him to go to the awards dinner, anyway. Justin and Bellwether had words over Brian. Brian ditched Mike for a member of Pittsburgh's finest. Mike gave him hell about it, in as whiny a way as possible.
Hot. Dancing. Gay. Boys. Neon is the new red, you know.
Liberty Avenue. A big, street-spanning banner proclaims "Pittsburgh PrideFest!" Emmett, Mike, Brian, Ted, and Justin walk down the street. Emmett's all about PrideFest: "Pride weekend! Can you feel it?" Mike grins, "The dancing?" Ted: "The parade." Brian: "The fucking." It's Justin's first, and he can't wait. Mike asks Justin if he's up for it. Brian confirms that he is. Emmett tells the boy, "Be careful. Pride is a sin." Justin grins, "Then I'm going to hell." Ted shakes his head at Brian, because this is all his influence.
Liberty Diner. There are rainbow flags, rainbow balloons, rainbow streamers, rainbow windsocks, and rainbow candles as far as the eye can see. Ted wonders who could have done such a thing. Like there's any doubt. Emmett figures it had to be "some demented queen." Close. It was Debbie, of course. Mike tells his mom that the place looks great. Debbie is more cheerful and excited than usual, even. Can I get the name of her pharmacist? Thank you. Emmett needs to hurry up and eat, because he's got appointments all day. He's getting a facial. And a pedicure. And, um, a bikini wax. Christ, he's more of a girl than I am. I'm jealous. And then Emmett has to take a dress to someone named Godiva. Mike is surprised that she's marching. Emmett says she isn't; he's pushing her in a wheelchair. He's trying to figure out some way of decorating the chair, but I say, just ask Debbie to do it. Justin, our perennial exposition fairy -- so to speak -- doesn't even know who Godiva is. Debbie can't believe this. Can't see why not. Lord knows he's been too busy chasing Brian to notice anything else. Debbie snorts that it's time for "Gay History 101." She points to a collage of drag queen pictures, conveniently located above a corner booth. After everyone sits, Emmett plays the historian, calling Godiva "the world's greatest drag queen." Ted nods, "Or at least Pittsburgh's." Emmett met Godiva right after he moved to Pittsburgh. He was at Woody's, and Godiva came up to him and said, in Barry White's voice, "You all alone, Sugar?" Emmett just stared at her with his mouth hanging open. Brian smirks that some things never change, huh? Emmett ignores him and continues, "Then she said to me, 'Well, not anymore. Now you've got Godiva -- just like the chocolate, dark and sweet.'" Godiva took Emmett under her wing, even shepherding him around for his first PrideFest. Emmett fears that this may be her last one, though. Mike grumps that people make too much of PrideFest, anyway. Emmett snorts, how would he know? Mike's never been to one. Justin's surprised. Please. Like Mike can even spell the word "Pride." Brian sneers, "Poor Mikey's afraid he'll end up as the token Pride clip on the six o'clock news." Mike points out that Brian's not all that visible during the weekend, either. Brian shakes his head: "We all have our ways of celebrating. Some people take it to the streets --" And Ted cuts in, "Some people take it to the sheets."