The Happy Fun Garage. Melanie's finished polishing her motorcycle. She jumps on and starts 'er engine, inadvertently blowing a plume of exhaust behind her, and into Lindsay's face. Melanie's delighted. She asks Lindsay to hop on! Come on! Let's GOOOO! Lindsay's like, um, not. Melanie asks if maybe she wants to ride with her in the parade. Lindsay thought they were marching with the Marriage Initiative folks. Melanie shrugs, "Do we always have to be so fucking correct? Can't we have a little fun for a change?" Lindsay snorts, "With Leda?" Melanie shrugs, well, Leda is fun. Seriously, Mel, was your law school located under a bridge? Lindsay snaps that Leda is also Melanie's ex-girlfriend, hello? Lindsay whines, "You should be thinking about us!" Mel pouts, "When don't I? Does it always have to Mel and Linds?" Dirt. Dumb. Lindsay pouts, "We are Mel and Linds. I happen to like that. And I thought you did, too!" Melanie rolls her eyes. Lindsay's not going to try and make her feel guilty, is she? I'm not exactly sure it was necessary for Mel to be this oblivious for this scene to work. Has the Sapphic Slut been forgotten so quickly? Lindsay snaps, "Go on. Go ride your bitch with the girls!" Melanie's all, okaay, and eagerly puts on her helmet like it's her birthday. Lindsay apprehensively watches her ride away.
Woody's. Brian, Mike, and Ted stand in front of a display for "Pool Boy." The tagline over the HDGB's head reads, "Suck on Me Tonight." Subtle. Men are coming up and grabbing bottles, though. Brian congratulates himself on his master marketing skills. Mike snerks, "Yeah, and all you had to do was put a guy in a swimsuit on the label." Selling sex in advertising? GASP! Ted sneers, "Don't these guys have any taste?" Brian snorts, "After where their tongues have been? Never fear, they also have no memory or brand loyalty. In a couple of months, Pool Boy will be forgotten like a bad fuck. But by then I'll have paid off my loft." Ted sees Dick across the room with a group of his friends. Brian asks how the sex was. Ted grins, "Massive. I'm still bow-legged." Brian drawls, "Theodore Schmidt, you sex pig. I didn't know you had it in you." Ted picks up on the obvious pun, but I won't subject you to that. Mike asks if he and Dick are going to see each other again. Ted says they talked about it. Brian suggests that Ted take over a Pool Boy cooler to get things started again. Ted snorts, "I want to date him, not poison him." He might change his mind about that later.