The Happy Fun Garage. Leda and Melanie uncover Mel's long-neglected motorcycle, which I'm told is a British BSA. Leda ribs her about hiding it in the garage, but Melanie explains that she let the insurance expire, and just like a grown-up, decided she couldn't drive it anymore. Leda grins evilly and suggests that they ride with Dykes on Bikes at the parade. Melanie doesn't think she can. Leda's like, sure you can! She just needs to get a permit, "polish up the old bitch," and she's there. Lindsay walks in and informs Leda that she and Mel are supposed to march with the Marriage Initiative group. Leda says she understands, but you can tell she really doesn't: "You gotta do your thing. Still...it would be such a shame to keep such a beauty out of commission and under wraps." Melanie looks shyly over at Lindsay, who is completely stone-faced.
Babylon! Go-go dancers in neon-colored briefs wave large rainbow flags high in the hair. Ted's at his usual spot at the bar, trying to make conversation with men who ignore him. Brian's brought sample bottles of Poolside for the Boys to try. They're available in Papaya Sauvignon, Kiwi Chardonnay, and Melon Merlot. Yummy! "So wretched, you'll want to puke," Brian grimaces, after taking a swallow. "Not even a fucking piss-queen would want to swallow this shit." Naturally, Emmett comes up, takes a sip, and thinks it's delicious. Brian just shakes his head. Mike asks how Brian's going to get people to buy it. Brian says he'll think of something, and is suddenly fascinated by one of the go-go dancers. More so than usual, I mean. Mike shrugs and trots off.
Meanwhile, Ted -- waving a little rainbow flag like a dork -- is still getting shot down all over the place. He certainly hangs in there, doesn't he? Mike offers him a Poolside Cooler. Ted declines, pouting, "Any other night, I'd go home, log onto cumquick.com, and get it over with. But it's Pride, and I'd actually like to experience some of this sexual freedom we supposedly fought so hard for." Keep hope alive, baby. Mike notices that there's a guy staring at Ted from the balcony. A really cute guy. Ted doesn't believe it. But no, the guy is actually smiling at Ted. Ted pops a couple of peanuts in his mouth...and starts to choke. But unlike (as Molly Ivins likes to call him) The Only President We've Got, Ted does not fall to the floor and lose consciousness. Luckily, Mike is a master of the Heimlich maneuver, and Ted spits the masticated snack onto the floor. "Well, that's one way to leave a lasting impression," Emmett drawls. Brian snerks, "Word of advice: next time you've got nuts in your mouth, suck, don't chew." Snicker. The cute guy walks up, wishes Ted a happy Pride, and asks how it's going. Ted pants, "Oh, you know. Enjoying the flow of air through my esophagus." Aren't we all. Cute Guy shrugs and says, "So, you wanna go?" Ted's incredulous. His friends are incredulous. Ted says sure, and makes a big deal about going off with the stud: "Gotta go! We're going! See ya!" Hee. Emmett's like, "Wow. Pride is a magical time." He asks Mike to dance. Mike agrees. Brian wisely stays at the bar, contemplating how he's going to sell the brightly colored sewage. He holds the bottle up so he can see a go-go dancer against it, and then through it. He looks at the bottle some more, thinking Deep Advertising Thoughts. Emmett and Mike boogie boogie boogie, until they're interrupted by Vic. What's Vic doing there? Emmett explains, "Even older gay men can celebrate Pride, right?" Vic agrees. Emmett cautions him to take it slow, though. Ha! That's not why Vic's there, though; Godiva just died at the hospice. Emmett's in shock. He was just there a few hours ago to drop off her dress. Vic nods, "Sometimes it happens very quickly. That can be a blessing." Emmett quickly leaves the dance floor.