Meanwhile, Ted -- waving a little rainbow flag like a dork -- is still getting shot down all over the place. He certainly hangs in there, doesn't he? Mike offers him a Poolside Cooler. Ted declines, pouting, "Any other night, I'd go home, log onto cumquick.com, and get it over with. But it's Pride, and I'd actually like to experience some of this sexual freedom we supposedly fought so hard for." Keep hope alive, baby. Mike notices that there's a guy staring at Ted from the balcony. A really cute guy. Ted doesn't believe it. But no, the guy is actually smiling at Ted. Ted pops a couple of peanuts in his mouth...and starts to choke. But unlike (as Molly Ivins likes to call him) The Only President We've Got, Ted does not fall to the floor and lose consciousness. Luckily, Mike is a master of the Heimlich maneuver, and Ted spits the masticated snack onto the floor. "Well, that's one way to leave a lasting impression," Emmett drawls. Brian snerks, "Word of advice: next time you've got nuts in your mouth, suck, don't chew." Snicker. The cute guy walks up, wishes Ted a happy Pride, and asks how it's going. Ted pants, "Oh, you know. Enjoying the flow of air through my esophagus." Aren't we all. Cute Guy shrugs and says, "So, you wanna go?" Ted's incredulous. His friends are incredulous. Ted says sure, and makes a big deal about going off with the stud: "Gotta go! We're going! See ya!" Hee. Emmett's like, "Wow. Pride is a magical time." He asks Mike to dance. Mike agrees. Brian wisely stays at the bar, contemplating how he's going to sell the brightly colored sewage. He holds the bottle up so he can see a go-go dancer against it, and then through it. He looks at the bottle some more, thinking Deep Advertising Thoughts. Emmett and Mike boogie boogie boogie, until they're interrupted by Vic. What's Vic doing there? Emmett explains, "Even older gay men can celebrate Pride, right?" Vic agrees. Emmett cautions him to take it slow, though. Ha! That's not why Vic's there, though; Godiva just died at the hospice. Emmett's in shock. He was just there a few hours ago to drop off her dress. Vic nods, "Sometimes it happens very quickly. That can be a blessing." Emmett quickly leaves the dance floor.
Ted's. He and the cute guy -- who I will just call "Dick" -- are having graphic, pounding, recapper-embarrassing sex. You'd think after twenty-six episodes, I'd be used to this, but I'm not so much, really. Ted's having a good time, though. And just in case anyone was wondering where I stood on the issue of Scott Lowell's hairy chest? I'm all about it. When they're done, Ted gasps that it was amazing. Dick unenthusiastically agrees. Ohhh, boy. Dick quickly puts on his clothes. Ted asks if he wants something to eat. Dick doesn't even look at Ted when he declines. Ted asks if he's going to the parade. Dick says he'll be there. Ted gives Dick his card, and the Dick leaves. Ted finds the little rainbow flag under his pillow, sticks it straight up, and salutes. Poor bastard.