Cut to lesbian bar with the shaky cam that tells us "The Relationship Is Shaky." Mel is telling Leda how French and snooty everything was. Lindsay says she can't believe that Mel's still carrying on about it. Leda asks which dish they picked. Lindsay says they haven't decided yet, but that she's leaning towards the crazy expensive meal. Mel jokes that they fly the cow in first class. Leda looks at her scary-looking girlfriend and laughs. Lindsay reminds Mel that it's their "special day." Mel moans about how stupid that "special day" thing is. Lindsay is pissed off, and snarks that they don't have to have a "sit-down dinner" at all. They can have the reception there at the bar with Happy Hour prices and a free bucket of wings. Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, Lindz. Mel tells Lindz she's being ridiculous. Lindz says that Mel's being ridiculous for counting every nickel and dime. Mel reminds Lindz that they don't have any of the nickels and dimes she's counting. Leda reminds the girls that even though they're dykes, they're still ladies, and they might want to control themselves in public. Mel tells Lindsay that she didn't grow up a "spoiled little rich girl" like Lindsay did, so money means something to her. Yeah, here's the time and place to say things like that to your partner. Mel tells Lindsay that her entire world view is based on Santa bringing her every little thing she's ever asked for. Lindsay says that Santa did not bring her everything. She storms past the shaky cam into the coat room (this dive bar has a coat room?) and informs Mel that Santa never brought her some cashmere cardigan thing. I instantly hate Lindsay. She says she thought this time they could be extravagant. She figures Mel would rather go to "Weddings for Less" or, even better, not have a wedding at all. Mel doesn't think that's such a bad idea. Neither do I, at this point. Lindsay storms off through the quietest, smokelessest, emptiest bar in all of Pittsburgh. Mel follows. Leda delivers a line, badly, to the effect that breeders can have the weddings, as she almost kisses her girlfriend. It's such a bad delivery that it looks like she might be having a stroke or something. It would excuse the head wiggling breathlessness she suddenly acquires to stall the not-kissing going on.