Okay, squint your eyes, because it's going to be the most shocking moment of this show's history. Emmett's getting head from the Pickle Majesty. Emmett is very pleased with the blowjob he just received, and praises the Pickle. I'm just calling him Pickle from now on because his last name is too long and I hate the name "George." Pickle says that, at his age, technique is everything. Emmett says that what the Pickle does is art. We watch Emmett and Pickle entwine their naked bodies. We watch it from across the room. They're just a pile of naked legs and ass cracks. Yikes, it's bony. Pickle tells Emmett that he can't understand why Emmett would be interested in an old guy like himself when there are pretty young things out there for Emmett. Emmett tells Pickle that those pretty young things are pretty boring, and that there's nothing to talk about after the quick sex. But old guys have lots of stories! Pickle and Emmett kiss sweetly. Emmett's gotta go to meet the boys at Babylon. Pickle admits he's only really been to a gay dance club once. Emmett can't believe that Pickle's only been in a place full of queers one time. Pickle reminds Emmett that he's been to the opera many times, so that counts as well. Emmett decides that tonight is the night Pickle's going to try it. The man's probably pretty tired, Em. Emmett dances in his underwear while standing over Pickle. Poor Pickle. You know he just wants his nap.
Babylon. Everybody's dancing holding water bottles. Justin and Brian appear to be doing some kind of drug. Ted's trying to get Michael to cheer up, finally, about the whole Captain Astro thing. Brian teases Michael for crying about it. Michael's pretty defensive. Ted suggests Mikey take a drink. Justin suggests Mikey take drugs. Brian suggests Mikey take a boy. Michael reminds everyone that he's seeing somebody. They all tell Michael that he's not really seeing anyone, since he's not getting married, he and Ben don't live together, and they don't have a firm commitment. Michael says he doesn't want the same arrangement Brian and Justin have. Justin points out a dancing boy and asks if Brian likes him. Brian thinks he's too tall. The next one's too hairy. They make a Goldilocks and the Three Bears joke. Justin tells Mikey and Ted that both he and Brian have to agree on the guy before they get to take someone home. They see Emmett and his Pickle. Justin calls Pickle the "Crypt Keeper." Hee. Michael says that Pickle should be exactly Justin's type: old and not too hairy. Brian is unamused. Emmett introduces Pickle to the group. It's only awkward until Pickle says he's pretty sure he knows everybody from Emmett's stories. He calls Ted the "entrepreneur," and thanks him for showing him Emmett. He calls Mikey "the devoted friend." He calls Justin courageous. He recognizes Brian as the "love child of James Dean and Ayn Rand." The boys love it when someone talks about them, so they toss their ageism aside as Brian offers to buy Pickle a drink. Emmett's brought Pickle out to dance, and pulls Pickle away to the dance floor. Suddenly, Emmett's friends love the Pickle, because the Pickle talked about them. Emmett and Pickle dance. Justin asks whether they think Pickle and Emmett are "actually doing it." Brian asks if Justin has a problem with older men, since Justin's looking at themselves in about fifteen years. Pickle screams that this is just like a dream and he can't believe what he's been missing. "Me neither!" Emmett says, and they dance into blissful happiness.