Queer as Folk U.S.
Priorities, Please!

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Down in the Dumps

Someone takes a photograph of the crime scene. The body is now out of the dumpster and on a stretcher. There's no wallet or ID. The head cop tells the lower cop to search everything again. Head Cop asks Debbie if he may ask her a few questions. She asks what happened. Head Cop says the kid was strangled and tossed in the trash. He asks how long ago Debbie found him. She says it was fifteen minutes ago when she called in. Apparently the boy's been in the dumpster for six or seven hours. He asks if she's seen him before. Debbie has. He's come into the restaurant. A bag is passed over the victim's body, but I can't figure out what it's supposed to mean. Justin stares with his tongue hanging out and makes a disgusted noise. Debbie tells him to get back, and calls him "Sunshine." She tells Head Cop that the victim was "Spanish Omelet," because she knows everybody by what they order. Head Cop figures out that everyone's gay now, because gay people love the omelets, and cracks to team that they've got a "Jane Doe." Debbie gets on her high horse that's balanced on a pedestal up on her soapbox to tell Head Cop that gay is good. Head Cop says a few things that could get him in trouble. He gives Debbie his name and dares her to make a complaint. She points out her not-dead gay son, when Michael walks up with the gang. Somehow Head Cop is scared off. Ted asks what happened. Emmett just then realizes that the victim is dead. Brian asks Debbie what she served him. Head Cop asks whether anybody knew the victim. Justin says he danced with him once at Babylon, but he didn't get his name. Brian moves his hand from his ear to wipe his face and announces he's starved. They walk back into the diner as the victim's body is covered.

Inside the diner, Brian asks if they saw what the victim was wearing. Tank top and leather pants. Brian says the killer was making a fashion statement. Everyone laughs. Ted gets his creepy moment to suggest that this was a crime of passion. Someone caught someone in an affair and the love was so strong that he had to kill his boyfriend. Stop it, Ted. You're so creepy. Emmett tells Ted he's seen too many operas. Cue the segue...Ted announces that he's going to the opera tonight and has an extra ticket. Emmett's not interested. Brian says he'd rather end up in a dumpster. Everyone pauses for the appropriate amount of possible foreshadowing. Emmett wonders if whoever killed that kid had sex with him first. He punctuates his thought by sticking meat in his mouth as he finishes. Brian says he hopes so, since it's always better to come before you go. He should know, since he's the autoerotic asphyxiation freak. Emmett laughs, and we can see the bacon bits in his mouth. Gross. Debbie is pissed off by Brian's joke, and tosses the plates down. Brian asks what's wrong with her. "That's my question," she responds. "No, we asked you first," I say out loud. Debbie looks up when she hears Michael asking another customer to sign his petition: "We're gonna show them that life is valuable, gay or straight." Debbie is filled with pride at her son for caring about the dead kid in her trash. She hugs Michael and announces to everyone how great her kid is and goes to sign Michael's petition until she sees that it's a petition to bring back Captain Astro. "What is the matter with all of you?" Debbie screams. "A boy was found outside dead! Stuffed in the garbage!" Debbie, I'm pretty sure your speech here is going to be bad for business. People are trying to eat, and you don't want to remind them that your diner is where people get killed. Debbie asks if they all think so little about life that they can just joke around about someone getting murdered. She says she expected more from them. "A lot more," she adds. "Especially from you," she says to Michael. She chastises him for caring more about a comic-book character than he does about a human being. She storms off. The boys quietly go back to their meals. Michael pouts. Who wants dessert?

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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