New. York. City! The screen splits into three again, showing us the wonder that is the city of my birth. The Boys wander through Chelsea, T&E's jaws dragging on the ground. Emmett gasps, "My god, have you ever seen so many cute men in your life?" Ted agrees, "It's like a porn star convention." Eh, they're okay. Maybe they'd look better if they were dancing in a club somewhere. Mike, on the cell with Debbie, snaps at them that they're supposed to be looking for Justin. Emmett says, "Okay, I need a break. Let's hit a homo bar." Ted suggests "The Lure": "Leather, Uniform, Rubber." Em vetoes it: "I have a problem with leather." Which makes no sense, but he was just picking out leather pants to take with him the night before. ["Maybe those were pleather." -- Wing Chun] He explains, "It accentuates my hips." Brian, who's also on his cell phone, ends the call and tells them that Justin's been using the credit card. Brian says that he'll meet them back in Chelsea in an hour, and hails a cab. Ted, Emmett, and Mike look around, lost, until a group of hot men pass by. "It seems to me that we're headed in the wrong direction," Emmett says, twirling around to follow the Hot Non-Dancing Gay Boys. Ted and Mike heartily agree.
In a really nice hotel room, Justin sits in bed, in a bathrobe, eating room service. There's a knock on the door. It's Brian, pissed. Off. Brian pushes past Justin, and takes in the room, including the five other plates of food on a table nearby. Death chair! Death chair! Justin, nervously trying to make conversation, tells Brian, "New York's amazing. I went clubbing last night until six in the morning. And the guys, whoo, the guys are --" Brian angrily asks whether Justin really thought he was going to get away with all this. Justin replies, "I figured someone would probably come and arrest me. But I was hoping that you would find me first." Urrrrgh. Brian tells him to pack up; he's taking Justin back to Pittsburgh. Justin, ably defending his Teen Drama Queen title once more, cries, "Back? To what? My parents don't want me. You don't want me. My life's a fucking mess, Brian!" Brian sighs, "Yeah, well, whose isn't?" Yeah, seriously. Brian says that they'll straighten it all out, starting by finding Justin a place to live. Justin asks why he can't live with Brian. Umm, do we remember what set you on this journey in the first place, Sunshine? Brian replies, "Because my place is only big enough for one person, and that's me." Nice way of putting it. Brian adds, "Now listen up. We're going back to Pittsburgh. You're going back to school. You're going to turn eighteen. And you're going to pay back every cent you charged on my credit card." Justin admits that he didn't go out clubbing, or even leave the room at all the entire night before. Brian doesn't care. Justin, watching Brian carefully, says that he looks like shit: "You should go take a shower." Brian agrees, "I probably should. I must stink." Justin, eyes gleaming, whispers, "Yeah." Brian pauses, and looks Justin, in his virginal white bathrobe, up and down. Justin, untying the robe and letting it fall to the floor, adds, "Sounds like you had a rough night." Oh, please. Another contrived sex scene between Brian and Justin? This kid just stole his credit card and charged what has to be around a thousand dollars on it, and now Brian's going to have sex with him? That'll learn him good. Yes, they're still really hot together. Who cares? This is ridiculous.