More split-screen action. In one, Melanie and Ted are at Ted's house, as Melanie smiles, "You didn't have to make brunch." In another, Lindsay lifts a bag of bagels and smiles, "I brought brunch!" In a third, an older man turns around, lifting a plate of ham, and playfully intones, "Brunch is served." So, it's Brunch time for Gay Pittsburgh. Got it.
At Brian's place, Lindsay's helping him make a list of all the stuff that got lifted. Lindsay brought the baby. He's the cuuuutest bay-bee. Brian mutters, wiggling Gus's foot, "I'm beginning to suspect gay-on-gay crime." Lindsay snarks, "Well, I'm not surprised. You have more visitors than Disney World." Not as many rides, though, but on the flip side, the lines aren't as long, and the admission's way cheaper. Lindsay can't find a knife for the cream cheese, because that got stolen, too, along with the rest of the cutlery and Brian's state-of-the-art juicer. Lindsay shrugs that at least the thief has good taste.
At Ted's, Melanie's surprised that Ted can cook, and he chuckles, "Yes, someday I'm going to make some man the perfect wife." Melanie snorts that she used to say the same thing, and Ted replies, "But instead, you've made someone the perfect husband."
Mike and David are having brunch with the Oldest Gay Couple in the World. One of them, with short white hair, chuckles at how healthy everyone eats these days; the other, with long white hair, replying, "I suspect that it has less to do with keeping healthy, and more to do with keeping those twenty-nine-inch waists." David says that they both look great. Long Hair winks, "Oh, we try to stay active. If you know what I mean." No. Whaddya mean? Jaysus.
Back at the loft, Lindsay tut-tuts, "I hope they find who's responsible." Brian snorts, "I know who's responsible. That little asshole who forgot to set the alarm." Lindsay raises an eyebrow, saying, "As if you never forgot anything!" And Brian sneers, "Nothing that important."
Brian and Lindsay's screen closes up as Ted and Melanie's opens. Melanie says that she wants Lindsay to be happy: "And that's all I've ever wanted." I just don't have the time to tackle that one. Ted says that it's going to be tough to support all of them on her salary. Melanie says she could take on more cases, or they could cut their expenses. Tough with a new baby. Babies are cute, but costly.
Back with the Oldest Gay Couple in the World, David tells Mike that Short Hair and Long Hair met during WWII. That's really old. They served together in the Navy, on the Yorktown. Thereby disproving that old Marine joke about the Navy, "It's not gay if you can't see land." I used to date a Marine once. "Fun" isn't quite the right word for that relationship. Anyway, Long Hair says, "Talk about a gay cruise -- there was this place behind the ammo bay where you could get a blow job, anytime. Day or night." David roars. Mikey's perplexed. Short Hair adds, "This was wartime. You could die at any moment." Long Hair ends, "And sex was how you knew you were still alive." I don't think that's a diagnostic technique they're ever going to try on ER, though.