Queer as Folk U.S.
Queens Of The Road

Episode Report Card
Camper: A | Grade It Now!
Y'all are Tripping

Mike and Emmett's. While they're packing, Emmett pulls out a popper, chirping, "Well, since it's going to be a bumpy night, maybe we should do a 'bump' and then stay up all night." Mike tells him to put it away, but Emmett replies, "Don't worry. I've got valium to come down." Mike: "If you're not careful, you're going to get addicted." Emmett: "Please. I've been doing this for years." Well, I guess Emmett just told Mike, didn't he? Uh huh. Mike gives up and changes the subject to what he should pack. Emmett replies, "Just take your little black dress. It works for all occasions." Emmett then tears around, not finding something. Mike asks him what he's looking for, and Emmett sighs, " The Broadway Album. Can't go to the Big Apple without Barbra." Total shout-out to me, because I have that CD, and Back to Broadway, too. And Collection: Greatest Hits...and More Sigh. I am such a middle-aged gay man. There's a knock, and Mike -- probably thinking it's Brian or Ted -- chants "road trip! Road trip!" on his way to the door.

Oops, it's David. David says that he got Mike's message. Mike says that David didn't have to come all the way over, but David pshaws, "Of course I did." And then adds -- tensely, sounding like somebody's father -- "Now, what is this about a trip to New York?" Emmett walks out of his room, holding two different pairs of colored leather pants, and stops cold when he sees David. Emmett's wearing a shirt that has "Perky" written across it in calligraphy. I can't even imagine who comes up with these things. Emmett, sensing David's displeasure, uncomfortably tells him that he should come with: "After spending all night in Brian's jeep, boy, we are all really going to need...ha...adjustments." With nothing more to add, Emmett slinks back to his room. Mike explains that Justin ran away, and that he and The Boys -- in David's words -- "decided to form a search party." David even calls them "The Boys!" Double-shout-out-triple point-score for Camper! David reminds Mike that they were supposed to continue their Committed Gay Couple World Tour with dinner at the Happy Fun House. Mike forgot. David lets him off the hook: "You do what you have to do." But he's clearly disappointed. And manipulative. And desperate. Mike thanks him, and lets him know that he's given serious thought to the whole cohabitation thing. Serious thought about the best way to say, "Hell, no," I hope. David tells him to have fun and wear his seatbelt (thanks, Dad) and they kiss goodbye. Emmett creeps back into the living room and he and Mike share The Look of Mutual "Christ, what the hell are you going to do, Michael?"

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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