The Gym. Mikey's fuming. Emmett and Ted are basically ignoring him in favor of scoping out some guy in the corner; Emmett says he slept with him, and that he comes off as "a brutal top, but he's a big nelly bottom." I love Emmett. Ted: "I could have told you that." Hah! Michael's mad at them for not paying attention. Emmett assures him that they got it, and why doesn't he just tell the truth? Ted and Michael snort at his naïveté. Michael could be held back at work -- or worse, lose his job altogether. Ted tells Emmett that Michael isn't an obviously gay man, like Emmett is, and it's not easy in the straight world. Emmett lisps, "Are you saying I'm obvious?" Ted: "If the fuck-me-pumps fit..." I like Ted, too, but he just seems so sad. Emmett says that he, too, could act like "a real man." But he'd rather "let [his] flame burn bright. Instead of letting it be a puny little pilot light." If anyone can think of a way that I can bottle him up and carry him around with me, please let me know. Ted tells Mike to stay on the path of least resistance, which is what he always does, and look where's it's gotten him. He's being set up with a girl. He's halfway to being that guy that Brian's having sex with in the restroom, and -- oh, wait, could this be Mike's secret strategy to get Brian? Nah, he's not that bright. Might have worked, though. Emmett hands Michael a football magazine so he can "bone up" (snarf), "in case the conversation veers from Liza's weight problem."
Cut to Justin and his mother in his room. She says he already stayed over at Daphne's the night before, he's not going tonight. He says he's going. Instead of saying, "No you're not, you little brat!" she doesn't say anything. On his way to scrambling through his closet for clothes, he ends up throwing a shirt right in her face. And doesn't even apologize. Not even Dawson is this bad. Come on, now. Who's in control, here? Why can't this grown-ass woman demand that her seventeen-year-old son stay home? And apparently, the friend he's staying over with is supposed to be Daphne. Justin's mom doesn't know he's gay. Has she met Daphne? Or does she think Daphne's gay? Is that why it's okay for her adolescent son to stay over at his adolescent girl friend's house? At any rate, Justin leaves, because he wants to, and maybe because Melanie has his Mom's balls, too. She sighs and starts to pick up his clothes. And finds Brian's jockstrap. BUS-TED!