Later that evening, Brian drops Michael off at Shoeless Joe's. He negates that gesture of good will by bitching Mike out the whole way there about not telling his co-workers that he's gay. Who cares what people think, Brian asks with the trademark sneer; neither of them have anything to be ashamed of. Maybe so, Michael replies, in a rare show of spine, but he noticed that Brian's already re-painted the Jeep, even after he said he vowed he wouldn't. The same day, even. "Well, I didn't want to have to take the trouble of kicking the ass of everyone who made a comment, so I got the Jeep painted," Brian replies. Actually, no, he doesn't say that. He's just a big, fat hypocrite. Mike makes another comic-book reference, wishing he could come up with a code word or phrase to use if things get bad in there, so Brian would know to come and rescue him. I suggest, "It sucks having a collapsible spine." Brian suggests "buttplug." I like mine better. Mike points out that that's going to be hard to work into a conversation. Heh. Brian pushes him out of the damn car. If he didn't, I would have. But thank God -- an inkling why these two might be friends, aside from Mike's perpetual hard-on for Brian. Mike notes that Shoeless Joe's is "Breeder Central."
Mike walks in, and yup, it's the straightest place in the world, right down to the country music and the five TVs turned to football. He finds Fat Marly and SOL in a booth in the back, with two other guys who give him the stink-eye right off. One of them is named "Harv," and looks like a narrow-minded, mean version of John Goodman, so we all know what we're dealing with right off. Marly makes Michael sit next to SOL. Marly makes SOL ask him if he's seeing anyone. Luckily, that question is easy to answer. SOL's embarrassed, but Mike says she shouldn't be, because who wants to get involved with someone who's already seeing someone. Fuck are you doing, Michael? Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! SOL isn't seeing anyone either. Her last boyfriend was a "doofus," although she didn't know it at the time. "There's so much you don't know at the time," she says. Oh, the irony! And, prithee tell, why was he a doofus? Well, one time, he couldn't fix the sink. And she's like, just fix it! And he wouldn't! Or couldn't! What a dork! She means her ex. I mean her. Fix the damn sink yourself. Princess Di DID die, they AREN'T looking for a replacement, fix it yourself. She probably broke up with her boyfriend and called a plumber, over a clogged sink that just needed half a cap of Drano. Chicks like her give me nosebleeds.