Chest of Death contest. Why do all of the emcees hired on this show have to have scary eyes (like Manson Lamps scary), sweaty skin, and look just like derivatives of Dr. Frank N. Furter? This emcee portion of the show goes on for a very long time. The emcee flirts with the finalists, asking one if his nipples are bathtub stoppers. (Is that a good thing or a bad thing?) The camera spins over to Ted and Emmett, who are mourning Pickle's service by doing shots at the Chest of Death contest. Emmett can't believe he was thrown out like garbage. Ted says it was awful. "By those two, huge, brutal monsters!" Emmett says. "In other circumstances, it might've been hot," Ted says inappropriately. Emmett says he'll never get to say his speech now. Ted asks to hear the speech, promising to listen. I guess he had to add that last part or we'd be worried that he'd start masturbating to it. Emmett thanks Ted, but declines. "Wouldn't be the same," Emmett says.
Ben and Brian stand on the catwalk as Ben says it appears they've been stood up. Nobody has a cell phone or a pager? These guys have thousands of dollars in disposable income. Ben's wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt. Ben's all, "There's nothing as sexual as the act of creation." I don't know where the fuck this is coming from, but Ben starts telling Brian that, when he writes a book, he gets hard and turned-on and has to masturbate, and so their boyfriends are at home all horny and writing about Brian, so they're probably fucking over their drawings right now. Ignore Brian's lame "stroke of genius" joke. Ben doesn't seem even the slightest bit concerned. Neither does Brian, who tells Ben to keep on having his mental orgasms, while he'll get his from fucking asses and getting sucked off.
The emcee is still flirting with the finalists.
Ben tells Brian that what Justin and Michael are sharing is the "most intense form of intimacy there is." And he doesn't mind one bit, apparently. What's up with Ben, anyway? Does he want Michael to have boyfriends? "Nothing. Not even the hottest fuck in the world can come close," adds Ben. This show sucks. Ben tells Brian to have another drink while their boyfriends cheat on them. Ben leaves as the emcee gets everyone to start cheering.