Debbie's. She's cooking dinner or something, as Vic tells her, "Melanie says that it'll be my word against his. So why should the jury listen to me?" Debbie says that the jury will listen to him because he's telling the truth. I think she missed the point, there. She tells him to stop acting so guilty. Vic replies that maybe he is, a little, because he wanted to go with the guy. Debbie's like, that's not a crime. Vic says it is when it's a cop, but I'm not sure it is, even then. It was "indecent exposure," not "solicitation," right? Vic continues, "At my age, with what I've got? To think that someone would find me desirable? Talk about pathetic." Debbie slams down the dishes and says she won't have him talk about himself that way! Vic: "Then don't listen. When I look in the mirror, I see someone I barely recognize. I still imagine that I'm like Brian -- able to walk into any bar, and have almost anybody that I want. And I had plenty, too. But now. Instead I see this tired, somewhat faded older man. Who measures his life from a pill bottle. And who nobody wants. I can't even remember the last time someone looked at me. Or even touched me. It was probably that Filipino nurse who gave me that barium enema." Which is where he lost me. "So, when this handsome young man expressed interest, I wanted to drop to my knees right there. That's the worst part. Worse than being arrested. Or put in jail. Or having to go to court. It's that I believed him." Debbie's almost crying at this point, and hugs him. Yeah, that pretty much sucks.
Woody's. The Boys watch some guy walk past in slow motion, so that we can all get a good look. He's watching them, they're watching him, etc. Mike groans, "What my tongue could do to his nipples. If I was single, of course." The funny thing is, he was looking at Cruising Guy's ass when he said it. Ted laughs that he's right there with Mike, except that Ted likes his abs. Emmett sighs, "Well, I'd like to thank you boys for leaving me the most tender, delectable morsel. Now that Brian's out of the picture, I might actually stand a chance." I was about to say. Mike says it sounds like Em's not even going to miss Brian. Emmett shrugs, "Well, I certainly won't miss being told 'be gone' every time some hunk appears." Ted replies that he won't miss Brian's non-witty, non-snappy remarks about his age. Emmett has to add, "Although I did think that him referring to you as Dead Man Walking was kind of amusing." Hee. Mike adds, "Or knowing that you're always his plan B." Emmett's like, yeah, or sometimes C. They should tell Justin, so he knows it's not just him. Maybe he'll feel better. It's worth a shot. Ted pouts, "Or buying a shirt from the latest Calvin Klein collection, and no one notices because everyone's staring at Brian's bare chest." Thinking, My God, why won't that man do some ab work if he's going to wander around without a shirt on?! Emmett laughs that he's also not going to miss the way Brian never takes any shit from anyone. Ted nods, "Or how he tells you the truth about yourself, even if he is a tad harsh. Even though you should probably hear it anyway." It's not like you guys don't throw it back at him. I wonder who's going to break down and dissolve into tears first. Mike: "Or how he refuses to let you coast through your life. No, I'm not going to miss that one at all." Says Mr. Big Q Manager, so obviously Brian did a really good job there.