Demon's lair. Mike's alone in bed when the phone rings. Gratuitous sex scene #3 coming up! Ding! It's The Master, who's also in bed in his hotel room, and already has his hand on his crotch. Mike asks him how it's going. Demon replies that Hank was really glad to see him, and that they've just been hanging out. Mike says that it was a good idea he went. Demon asks his lover how he's doing, and Mike moves his hands down his chest a little and says that he misses Demon. I begin flinching and wincing like a Tourette's sufferer. Mike tells Demon that their bed is lonely, and that he was dreaming about Demon when he called. I really can't take this. They have stylized, moaning, groaning phone sex, okay? No, I'm not going into details. And you can't make me.
Brian's loft. Lindsay's shown up with Gus to read Brian the riot act about moving to New York and taking advantage of a really good opportunity. Lindsay's like, so when were you planning on telling me? Brian, who's trying to unpack, snarks that he was going to send her his change of address. Gus is all cute in a striped sweater and matching pointy hat. Tugging at the old ovaries once again, I see. Brian reminds Lindsay that he hasn't even been offered a job, yet. St. L. grumbles that they were impressed by his résumé, though. Bastards. How could they? Brian can't resist, and says that she wouldn't believe how cool their offices are -- right on Madison Avenue, with a great view of Midtown. Brian adds, "And the guys at this agency are smart. And they're totally hot. It's an entirely different league." St. L. grouses that Brian's just going to go ahead and abandon Gus. Oh, knock it off. That plane trip is what -- an hour, tops? ["Plus Brian's already given up his parental rights." -- Wing Chun] Brian tells Lindsay not to start with the guilt, and takes Gus from her, cooing, "How would you like to hang out with your pop in Manhattan, huh? Go to the Guggenheim, and the opera?" To St. L.: "See, you're going to thank me for this when he grows up to be sophisticated." Lindsay snarls, "Fuck you, Brian. I know how to take my kid to a museum." Oh, that was totally called for. She grabs Gus out of his arms. Brian tells her, "If I stay here, I'm going to go out of my mind. Or who knows what I'll become?" Lindsay snaps, "Probably who you are now, only older." Brian shakes his head no; he's not going to let that happen. St. L. asks what's so bad about that. It happens to everyone. Brian replies that it's not going to happen to him: "I want to become something different. Something new." Lindsay snorts that Brian sounds like one of his ad campaigns. In which case, I think he deserves to rot in Pittsburgh for the rest of his life. Lindsay continues, "New. Improved. Going to New York won't change anything. So you'll have a different loft. Work for a different firm. Go to different bars and clubs. But different doesn't make it better." And then she loses me when she adds, "When are you going to figure out that Justin really loves you, even if he is young? At your age, that might not be such a bad thing for you." What?! She's pushing Justin onto Brian? As something that'll be good for both of them? The hell? Lindsay reminds Brian that Michael would give up his life for Brian, and that she loves Brian, too: "You think you'll find that on Madison Avenue?" Maybe not, but he could always fly down for it on the weekends.