Previously: Brian and Justin were going to go to Vermont together, but Brian had to stay so he could keep his job. Justin was mad! Emmett became a mega-millionaire. Then he wasn't. The girls had a threesome with their Kato.
One week later. Justin's back from his trip, and arrives at Brian's loft to find Brian having sex with a trick. Justin is as unsurprised as the rest of us are. He pulls off his jacket and walks through the bedroom to the bathroom. "You're back," Brian says through grunts. "You noticed," Justin says without stopping. Pan down to the Blue Light Special, who seems to have not noticed there's anybody else in the room. Justin's shirt says "69."
Poor Ben. If it's not about Tibet, they don't want to write it for him. So he's standing in his kitchen making some Tibetan Dumplings. I guess everything's fine with him and Michael and he's not sick anymore. Whew! Ben feeds Michael a taste of the dumpling. Michael whines that it's too spicy, and that his Western Pennsylvania taste buds aren't prepared for Eastern cuisine. Ben calls him a sissy and says that spicy food is good for you; it cleans out your toxins by making you sweat. Michael, of course, says he would rather think of other ways to sweat out toxins. They kiss. Ben retches from Michael's lips (instead of the other way around, which we're used to). Michael brags that his kisses make Ben nauseous. Then the worst line in the history of this show: "Wait. You don't double over from a dumpling." You're tougher than a dumpling, Ben! Fight! Live! Don't die! Wait! And can we kill the didgeridoos in the background, please? Ben says that he's totally fine and everything's great. He kisses Michael's cheek. Michael suggests that Ben eat something "a little less exotic." They don't go for the dick joke here, surprisingly. Ben says that the monks have been eating this stuff for centuries. "You're not a monk. I can vouch for that," Michael says. Keep that porn theory going, people, because otherwise you're liable to double over like Ben at some of these shitty lines. Ben says he wants to live in a monastery some day. Huh? Michael jokes that Ben gets enough hot man love here at home. Huh? Ben makes a noise and says he wants to live in Tibet, study Buddhism, and meditate. "Send me a postcard," Michael says. Well, he didn't actually invite you, now, did he? Also, I thought two weeks ago, Ben told us all this Buddhism stuff was bullshit. Now he's Buddha Ben the Buddhist Believer? Ben sets the table and sits down to eat. He asks Michael if he's ready. Michael punches some numbers in a phone and says he just has to do one thing. I'm positive he's about to call Brian to ask how the trick went, but instead he calls up and orders a pizza. Ben takes the phone away from Michael. And...scene! Brilliant!