Queer as Folk U.S.
Sick, Sick, Sick

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Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Sick, Sick, Sick

Stiff lawyers watch Pickle's videotape. I wonder if Emmett did the ventriloquist show with them like he did for us. That's really impressive. Emmett! Show them how you and Pickle can do the "Who's On First?" routine! That'll show them that you two were really in love! The main lawyer accuses Emmett of faking the tape by having a demented Pickle read lines Emmett had written out for him. They compliment the quality of the tape. How is this a better quality version than the one we saw last week? It really is a much clearer copy. Emmett, for some reason, feels the need to tell the lawyers that Pickle was "of sound body" when he died. So not helping, Em. The lawyers call Emmett an "ambitious young hustler" from a gay porn site. You know, that's all kind of true. The lawyer asks why Emmett would persuade a man of Pickle's age to take Emmett around the world when the strain of the trip could harm Pickle physically. They say that Pickle made the deposit before he and Emmett left on the trip. Really? It took months for the $10 million check to clear and Emmett never heard about...Porn Theory! Stick with the Porn Theory! Otherwise my ears are going to start bleeding from how impossible it all is. Mel knows that Emmett's screwed, so she threatens to leak the tape to the press. Emmett may not get a dime, but everyone would know that Pickle was gay, and how horrible that would be! She says that nobody would think of "Schickle's Pickle" the same way. This show constantly takes two steps backward. I know the show's tagline is: "It Sucks to be Gay," but I really hate it when it adds, "Because straight people are terrified of us."

Ben's blabbing some queer theory to his huge class, but he's got a bit of dumpling double-over going on. A woman who looks exactly like Tracy asks if he's okay. Ben's last name is Bruckner. Ben Bruckner the Buddhist with the Bad Blood. He says he is, but then he's clearly not, and just faints right there on his giant stage. A horrible extra reads too close to the microphone: "Mr. Bruckner? Mr. Bruckner, are you okay? Somebody get a doctor! Get a doctor!" Jesus, this show.

Justin's laughing that Ethan has tricked him into carrying a couch to the top floor of his apartment. Oh, yeah, like you didn't want to be just there right now anyway. They throw the couch down on the gigantic empty space in the middle of the apartment that says, "Couch here!" They gasp and moan together. Justin compliments Ethan's place. Ethan says he found everything in it on the street, "including Wolfram." Justin immediately asks if that's his boyfriend. Ethan says that it is, and then points out the Wolfram in question. It's Ethan's cat, of course. Justin loves the kitty. Ethan blabs on about the importance of the cat's name, but I hate it when Ethan puts on his beret. Justin makes a pussy joke. From out of nowhere, Justin says he wishes he had a cat like that. Ethan tells him to get one. Justin bitches about Brian. Then he brags about how rich and successful Brian is. Ethan teases Justin for seeing an older man. Ethan asks if they live together. "Yeah," Justin says. I don't think Ethan's going to let you live in his tiny place, Justin, so you best make up with Mom or get a real job pretty soon. Ethan talks about how lucky Brian is, having a place full of pretty things. Justin and Ethan laugh. Justin says he's got to go. Ethan says he needs to practice anyway. We follow them to the door. I'm not really sure why this is taking so long, but eventually Justin invites Ethan to see his art exhibit. Ethan leans toward us and nods without commitment, the ultimate turn-on for Justin. As the scene ends, they put Wolfram too close to the microphone so he can make a mewing noise. It's like an Eminem album with the sound this episode.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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