Babylon! I can't ever just write "Babylon," it has to be "Babylon!" Like, "Fosse!" Brian and Mike sniff a popper together on the dance floor, just like old times. Cut to Dr. Dave, sliding through the crowd, wearing a sleeveless denim shirt and tight jeans. He looks too good, and the patrons agree, but very much like a straight guy trying to dress like he's gay. I just can't let it go. Dave wraps his muscled arms around Brian and Mike and sniffs the popper, too. "Is there some room on your dance card for me?" he asks. Mike says, "Sure," relieved that David's not mad, but he gets dissed. "Not you," Dr. Dave snaps back, and then grabs Brian's hand: "You." Mike looks like a kicked puppy, as all his insecurities come crashing down. Brian, because he's an uncompromising dickhead, calls back, "Why Doc, I thought you'd never ask." He and David take the dance floor. David can dance. Brian still can't. Doesn't mean David's gay, because he really, really isn't. My gaydar was honed on the streets of West Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Washington, DC, people. I know what I know.
Mike wanders back to the sidelines with Ted and Emmett. If he was expecting moral support, he's out of luck, as Emmett makes the first cut into Mikey's chest cavity by observing, "Man, David looks hot!" and Ted rips out his heart with, "What's he doing dancing with Brian?" Thanks, guys. Can he get some salt with that?
On the dance floor, Brian's surprised that David can dance. David says he sure can, but he hasn't done it in a while. Brian tells him he should go out more often, and David retorts, "There's nothing here that interests me." Ouch. Brian tries to recover: "Then why are you here?" David says that he's here to see Brian, and comments on his miraculous recovery from the accident. Brian says something stupid about the power of prayer and pharmaceuticals, but acknowledges that Mike's a sweet guy to have come back, even though Brian told him not to. David stops dancing and replies, "That's because you're all he ever thinks about. You're his world. You're everything he thinks about, everything he dreams about, everything he knows." And you want to get involved with this guy? Why is that, again? Brian futzes that he and Mike have been best friends since they were fourteen. David replies, "Sixteen years of waiting. He's been waiting so long, he actually thinks he's happy. But you and I both know he's never going to get what he wants, is he?" Brian's looking confused, but belligerent. He asks exactly what it is that Mikey wants, and David snaps, "For you to fuck him! And don't tell me you don't know it, and you love knowing it, don't you?" Damn, man, Brian's being called on all his shit this episode. I love it. Brian shoots back that David doesn't know Mike -- Mike who looks so much like he's about to cry that Emmett's slung a protective arm around his shoulders. Dr. Dave says that he'd like to know Mike: "But I never will, as long as you're around. Maybe I should just disappear. Would you like that? And you probably wouldn't think twice about it. But I want him. Even more than you don't want me to have him." Brian glares at him as David continues, "So, if you're really his best friend, give him a chance to be happy. To have a life. His own life. Let him go." And the camera pulls away as David and Brian stare each other down on the dance floor.