Ted finds Brian and drawls, "Nice going on the gift. Couldn't have been more perfect...yeah, David's present didn't stand a chance. But then again, neither did he." Of course, there was no way for Brian to know what David was bringing, besides which, why should that have affected what Brian got his best friend for his birthday? Plus, it's not that David's completely oversensitive or anything. God forbid that Michael should have had a life before him. And there I am, hotly rambling on once more. God, do I have any alcohol around here? Ugh. Brian tells Ted to fuck off for me, because the little people on the screen can't hear me when I yell at them. Ted self-righteously shakes his head and continues, "You just can't help yourself, can you? You have to make sure that Michael permanently regresses to the age of twelve. He's thirty, for Christ's sake, Brian. Don't you think it's time you let him go?" So, basically, what everyone is telling Brian is, "Hey, I know you've been manipulating Mike this way for a few years, but why don't you manipulate him this other way." Yeah! That'll work! And seriously, as far as I'm concerned, David's just a slightly nicer, older version of Brian. At any rate, Brian's had enough of Ted's sermons, and sneers, "Well, I'll tell you what. I will if you will." Oops. Brian continues, "Tell him that you've been in love with him for years." Ted says he doesn't know what Brian's talking about. Brian tells him that The Boys saw Ted's Mikey Shrine while he was in a coma. Ted's starting to look slightly ill in his little glass house, there. Brian finishes, "Of course, I always knew. So, like I said, you let him go and so will I. Ladies first." The hypocrisy stops here. Nice one, Bri.
Emmett and Vic schmooze over drinks. Vic asks if the pill-like thing he's holding is drugs or candy. Emmett shrugs that it's candy, probably. Vic drops it in his drink, sighing, "You'd think with all the pills that I take that I'd know." Emmett asks him how he's doing, and Vic grins, "Fit as a fiddle and ready for love. Why do you ask?" Vic gracefully stumbles away to find the best view of the nearest fruit-loined HDGB. Emmett sits next to him on the couch, prompting Vic to ask him where all this sudden interest is coming from. "You boys never talk to anyone over forty unless you have to." Vic snorts. Emmett says that he thinks he has "it." Vic replies, "'It' doesn't mean what it used to...people die. But they die from other things, too." Emmett says that he can't believe that this is happening to him -- he's not promiscuous. Vic snorts, "'Promiscuous' is anyone having more sex than you." "Promiscuous" is also a word that looks wrong when you spell it. Like, what's that extra "u" doing in there? Emmett thought he was being careful, and Vic chuckles, "Sex isn't careful. If it is, you're doing it wrong." Now, there's a disturbing thought. Vic continues, "It's messy. And it's human. And it's mixed up with other things. It's a genie that won't stay in the bottle. Listen, Emmett, if you think you made a mistake, move on. And accept it like a man." I love Vic.