Next morning, back at the loft, Brian walks into the living room and finds Debbie picking up Mike's presents. Justin's passed out on the bed -- fully clothed, so don't start -- and Debbie calls out to him to wake up because they have to get to work. Justin yawns, stretches, and sighs, "I don't feel sick. Margaritas are definitely my drink." Brian yells at him to get up, and Justin scampers into the bathroom. Brian swigs out of a bottle of scotch and sheepishly offers Debbie some coffee, which she declines. Hands on hips, she tells him, "Christ, I was pissed at you last night. Everybody was. But right in the middle of my cussing you out, I finally figured it out. You can't do anything quietly, can you? Everything's got to be a spectacle, a drama." You know, I just noticed something. These people soapbox a lot. Talk and talk and talk. Intone. Surmise. Delve. Reveal. I know. I'm slow. Anyway, Debbie continues: "You couldn't have pushed him softly. You had to shove him off a fucking cliff." Brian says that he had to: "Otherwise, he would have followed me around forever." Debbie agrees with him. She calls Justin again, who tells her that he's brushing his teeth. Debbie asks Brian, "You loaned him your toothbrush?" Brian drawls, "I have a supply." Um. Duh. Back on topic, Brian says that it was the only way. Debbie says that David is good for Michael, reaching the end of Brian's good will, as he mumbles, "That won't last." Debbie says it may not, but they should give it a try. Brian asks how Mike is doing, and Debbie says he's trying to figure out why Brian would betray him. "But he doesn't realize that it's the best thing that could ever happen. That you did him a favor. That maybe now he can finally have a chance to have a life." Gag. Justin walks out of the bedroom and says that he's ready to go, which is good, because I was about to OD on schmaltz. Debbie hugs and kisses Brian, and tells him to take care. Brian looks just about dead around the eyes.
The clinic. Emmett can't sit still, and Ted can't do anything to make him sit still. Cute Medic Guy approaches them, and Emmett's like, JUST TELL ME! So Medic Guy tells him: Emmett's check bounced. Ted pulls out sixty dollars and grumbles that Emmett can pay him back. Emmett, who doesn't get it, yet, snaps, "Who gives a shit about sixty bucks, I'll leave it to you in my will, can I have my test results, please?" Medic Guy, bemused, tells him he's fine. Emmett starts to cry again. Medic Guy adds, meaningfully, "So, uh, how would you like to celebrate?" Emmett gulps, "I'm sorry, I'm busy." Huh? Medic Guy shrugs and says he'll see them around, then. Ted watches him leave and comments, "He's cute. If you don't want him, I'll take him." Yeah, seriously. Emmett sighs, "You can have him. I made a promise to God." Ted doesn't understand. Emmett explains that he promised God that if his results were negative, he'd never have sex with another man. Ted, not even bothering to be skeptical, nods, "Uh huh." Oh, goody, another exercise in futility, which, I suppose, will create laughter and hijinks throughout next week's episode. Can't wait.