Walking outside with Brian, Mike says he doesn't even know why he's asking Brian's advice. Brian says it's because he's "younger and wiser." Try again, babe. Mike adds that Brian has never been in a relationship. Brian says that he really hates the word "relationship." Mike says he has no idea what it's like. Brian says, "I know he told you the truth. And I've got to give him credit." Whatever. If Brian hadn't seen Demon, Mike would never know. Brian adds that he was sure that Demon wouldn't tell, and Mike's like, wait, you knew? Brian's like, it's math, do it -- where were both Demon and I last night? Mike swears, and then asks Brian whether he and his Demon lover hooked up. Brian says no. Mike's like, and you weren't going to tell me? Brian points out that, if he had, Mike would have just thought Brian was trying to break them up. Mike shakes his head and growls, "Well, if he can do it, maybe I should, too." Brian tells him to go for it: "Only stop carrying on like some betrayed little housewife." I'm still not getting how, you know, the only viable option is for Mike to screw around on Demon. "Leave him" doesn't even seem to be on the table, anymore. But I guess my happiness is not the question here, either.

The Gas Station. Ted goes inside to pay for the pump, but can't find his wallet. La Traviata plays faintly in the background as Symbolism stumbles out of my bathroom, dramatically trips over a snag in the carpet, and tries to grab my last cider. Can you believe that shit? Patience quietly tsk-tsks on the couch. Ted looks in his car. No wallet. He gets this look on his face like, oh, no.