Queer as Folk U.S.

Episode Report Card
Camper: B- | 437 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Harvey, Come Back! Camper Loves You!

Back at the Baths, Brian's entered a dark room lit only by blue spotlights. And what's under these spotlights, pray tell? Men having sex. With each other. With lots of each others. Brian silently observes it all like it's an exhibit at MOMA. There's threesomes and fivesomes and sevensomes. There's this big pyramid of men all attached to one another. Groaning.

Patience: Hey, did you know you still have a chocolate bunny in your freezer?
Camper: Toss it over here.

Brian keeps walking. There's single couples. Having sex. Oral sex. Anal sex. Oral and anal sex. Okay? Okay? In the bathhouse, men have indiscriminate, hot, sweaty sex with each other and no one cares. Understood. Can we have some plot now, please? Brian finally sees someone he likes, who hands him a popper. Brian snorts it. Popper Guy is joined by one of the many black guys who live in Toronto, and together, they make short work of devouring Brian whole, because he's so hot, and he went to the Bathhouse to have sex with men because he's really hot and bored and this is what he does and plot. Now. Okay?

Patience: Whoa whoa whoa! Let me open that second bottle for you!
Camper: But this is going on forever! For no other reason to show these men naked-like and having sex. It doesn't have anything to do with anything! Eighteen episodes into the season and they can barely make it past Brian's crotch! And Justin isn't going to Dartmouth. Duh!
Patience: Wow. Losing that snowball last week really got to you, didn't it?

Brian sees another couple in the corner, one guy jerking the other guy off. You can't see either of their faces. Brian -- curious (or most likely, bored) -- wanders over. He pulls off the jerkee's towel from behind and whispers, "Why don't you take off your towel and stay awhile?" The jerkee turns around. No. Way. It's Demon. Dr. David F'in Cameron has been literally caught red-handed by Brian in the baths. Patience is bemused as I do a victory lap around the apartment. There is a God, and my mother was right: He does love me. Oh, yeah, baby! You can just imagine the look on Demon's face when he sees Brian. Sah-weet! Brian looks down at Demon's crotch and then smirks, "What's up, Doc?" Wheeee!

Queer as Folk U.S.

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