Queer as Folk U.S.
Surprises Kill

Episode Report Card
Camper: C+ | Grade It Now!
Harvey, Come Back! Camper Loves You!

Babylon! As the techno mix of "Forever Young" pumps in the background, Emmett tries to make Ted feel better about his mistake: "So, you misjudged him. You said a lot of terrible things that weren't true." Ted's like, what about you? Emmett: "Well, everyone knows that I'm a terrible judge of character." Brian, leaning against the bar next to them, wearing The Red Shirt, snickers, "Yeah, just look at who he hangs out with." Emmett nearly spits up his beer, laughing. Brian's certainly being all self-effacing this week, isn't he? Ted slams his beer down and says that he must find Blake! Brian: "Try the bathroom floor." First place I'd look. Ted tells Brian to fuck off and rushes out.

Nearby, Justin's trying to get a beer. No luck. The bartender won't let him have one unless he sees some ID. Which makes no sense, because they check ID. at the door; you know, you have to be a member to get in? And twenty-one, too, I think. Someone get back to me on the boards about that, wouldja? Many thanks. Justin growls, "Who do you have to fuck to get a goddamn drink around here?!" Brian saunters up on cue and grins, "Me." He orders two beers. The bartender glares at them. Brian, in the voice of a petulant five-year-old, adds, "I'm thirsty!" Very cute. I'm giving in to the New and Improved Brian. Brian takes the beers and raises one of them in a toast: "To Dartmouth. And to your bright shining future as Pittsburgh's newest Andy Carnegie." Justin reaches for the beer and says he'll drink to that, but Brian moves the beer out of reach and adds, "Only, I thought you were going to be the next Andy Warhol." Justin tells Brian that he changed his mind. Brian: "And after all the trouble I went to, to make you the best homosexual I could." He shoves a beer over to Justin and adds, "I can't believe you'd blow it. And over the flimsiest excuse: 'I've caused my parents enough pain.' How can you even stand there and look me in the eye?" Justin says that it's true. Brian says that it's bullshit: "They cause their own pain, just like everyone else. And now you're going to give up everything you want, just to make them happy? That is totally fucked!" Justin finally snaps, "Shut up, Brian, you don't know anything!" Brian: "I know it's scarier finding your own way than doing what's expected." Justin says that he isn't scared. Brian's like, shyeah, right, you're terrified! "Just like the night you met me. I was sure you'd run back home, but you didn't. You said, 'I'm going with him.'" Justin's kind of shocked, but rallies, "I can't believe you remember that, considering you couldn't even remember my name." Good point. Could be Brian's more of a faces person than a name person. I'm like that, which is why I write everything down. Brian snorts, "And look what happened." Justin: "I turned into a Big Queer." Brian sneers, "Yeah, lucky for you, or else I wouldn't be wasting my time. But it's too late now. There's no turning back." Taking Justin's hand, Brian leads him to the dance floor. They dance in slo-mo, surrounded by HDGBs and watched over by Go-Go Dancers in war paint and breeches. I wonder when Pirate Night is?

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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