Patience: Look what I found: Woodchuck Granny Smith Cider!
Camper: Cool. Just line up all six of them in front of the monitor.
Patience: I got you beef lo mein. Is that okay? Oh, and a side order of white rice, 'cause I know you like mixing it in.
Camper: I dunno. I'm trying to cut down on my carbs.
Patience: Yeah, but it'll help soak up the alcohol. [on Camper's look] Um. Okay. I'll eat the rice. You have soy sauce, right?
Ted cautiously approaches the body on the floor. It's Blake. Ted swears, then kneels down to try to shake Blake awake. The camera pans underneath the floor, like it's made of glass, so that we can see Blake's face pressed up against the floor, a long stream of vomit coming out of his mouth. So, someone obviously borrowed the TMIcam from C.S.I. this week. How nice for all of us. Ted tries tossing water on Blake's face. Not only does it not work, but other people in the restroom start making fun of him. Ted asks for help, but gets a big ole "whatever." Lifting Blake up, Ted screams at them all to fuck off. They ignore him. Nothing new there.
Back at the Baths, Brian's entered a dark room lit only by blue spotlights. And what's under these spotlights, pray tell? Men having sex. With each other. With lots of each others. Brian silently observes it all like it's an exhibit at MOMA. There's threesomes and fivesomes and sevensomes. There's this big pyramid of men all attached to one another. Groaning.
Patience: Hey, did you know you still have a chocolate bunny in your freezer?
Camper: Toss it over here.
Brian keeps walking. There's single couples. Having sex. Oral sex. Anal sex. Oral and anal sex. Okay? Okay? In the bathhouse, men have indiscriminate, hot, sweaty sex with each other and no one cares. Understood. Can we have some plot now, please? Brian finally sees someone he likes, who hands him a popper. Brian snorts it. Popper Guy is joined by one of the many black guys who live in Toronto, and together, they make short work of devouring Brian whole, because he's so hot, and he went to the Bathhouse to have sex with men because he's really hot and bored and this is what he does and plot. Now. Okay?
Patience: Whoa whoa whoa! Let me open that second bottle for you!
Camper: But this is going on forever! For no other reason to show these men naked-like and having sex. It doesn't have anything to do with anything! Eighteen episodes into the season and they can barely make it past Brian's crotch! And Justin isn't going to Dartmouth. Duh!