Queer as Folk U.S.
Surprises Kill

Episode Report Card
Camper: C+ | Grade It Now!
Harvey, Come Back! Camper Loves You!

Debbie's, the next morning. Debbie -- wearing a pink t-shirt that reads, "I like fags" --yells up the stairs for Justin. Justin bounces down and takes a seat at the breakfast table next to Vic. Debbie's like, I've been yelling for you for the last ten minutes. Justin replies, "I know you think because I'm young, you think I can just tumble out of bed and look like this." Vic: "I don't see why not. I tumble out of bed and look like this." Ha! Justin laughs and continues, "Yeah, well, you're wrong. Even at my age, it takes time and preparation." Debbie reminds him that it might be a little easier if he didn't stay out partying until three in the morning. Vic gazes at Justin for a second and then gestures to Debbie. Debbie pauses, and then grabs a letter off of he kitchen shelf. She hands it Justin. It's from the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts. Gasp! I wonder if he got in? Justin can't bring himself to open the envelope. Because, you know, what if television history is turned on its head and he didn't get in? Debbie says that she'll open it. Which she does. And reads, with a downcast expression on her face. Oh, gee. I guess Justin didn't get in. Off to Dartmouth with him, then. Debbie smiles, handing Justin the letter, "Congratulations, Picasso." Oh my God! He got into the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts! In Pittsburgh! Where the show is set! What are the odds, huh?

Patience: Now, remember what Dr. Miknowski said about your blood pressure.
Camper: But he didn't say anything about my alcohol intake, now, did he?

Blake's hospital bed. Ted's sitting next to it, holding Blake's hand. Blake wakes up with a start and looks around the room with a wild-eyed expression, finally settling on Ted. Blake pulls his hand away from Ted's and asks what's going on. Ted apologizes, "I found myself sitting in a hospital room next to an unconscious person. Seemed like the thing to do." Blake freaks out at the word "hospital" and sits up straight in bed. "Hospital?" he gasps. "Did something happen to me?!" Ted tells him that he passed out in Babylon. Blake doesn't remember. Ted tells him that he found him unconscious on the bathroom floor. Blake just stares at him, all freaked out, and Ted's head does the Freakylinks thing again. I hate that; it's really creepy. Ted tells Blake that he was dehydrated and had really high blood pressure. Join the fucking club, Blake. Blake, breathing heavily, asks how long he's been there, and Ted tells him that it's only been overnight. Ted offers to get Blake some water, but Blake reaches out to him and asks him not to leave. Ted eases Blake back onto the hospital bed. Blake asks Ted if he has any candy. Candy? Ted searches his pockets and comes up with a fresh roll of Life Savers. Get it? Life Savers? Blake, like, inhales the whole thing. Ted, bewildered, mumbles that he's going to get the nurse. Blake stops him, and asks Ted whether he's been there the whole time. Ted says yes, except at some point he went home to pick up some clean clothes for Blake, since his were best not spoken of again. Ted's all embarassed and not able to look Blake in the eye. Blake flops back down into bed. Ted tells him he should be able to go home later on that day. Blake snorts, his hands shaking uncontrollably, "What home? I was evicted last month." Blake's been staying with "friends" since then. Ted's like, oh, that's good, they'll be able to look after you. Blake says that they're not those kind of friends, and starts to cry. "You must think I'm so stupid," he whimpers. Ted says that he doesn't think Blake is stupid: "I just think that you're this really sweet guy who has some problems and needs some help." Blake clutches Ted's arm and weeps, "I'm going to stop. I am. I'm going to stop." Ted reluctantly puts an arm around Blake while he bawls.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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