Queer as Folk U.S.
Ted's Not Dead

Episode Report Card
Camper: B | Grade It Now!
Ted's Not Dead

Mike follows Ted back into the bedroom. Ted says it says it all looks weird: "Your life. Especially after a near-death experience." Mike says it's like the Oscars, "Immediately preceded by" -- they join on the last part -- "the Barbara Walters Special." They laugh. Ted, leaning on the Armoire of Hidden Love, tells Mike that he's glad that he's there. Mikey's flustered, and can't stop looking at the armoire. Ted's like, what heck is wrong with you? Babbling runs in the Novotny family. BEHOLD: "Well, um, uh, I'm glad you're here, too. And if you ever want to talk about this, or other stuff...you know, if there's something that you can't talk about. I don't know. Maybe if you talk about it, it might help it. But you know, you might not get what you want." Ted's like, what hell are you talking about? Yeah, I was there when it happened, and I'm not even sure. Brian pops his head in: "Are you going to come eat the chicken?" Doesn't look like it. Oh, you mean the dead chicken. Mike, recover quickly! Stalking off into the living room, he says, "I'm going to go arrange the daisies." Or not.

Ted tells Brian that he saw him sexing up the nurse. In his hospital room. In the bed next to him. Phaser still stuck on "tacky." Or "sticky," depending on how you look at it. Ted: "I thought, I'm in hell. And this is my punishment: watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity." Well, it's not eternity, but I've got seventeen episodes to go; that's at least thirty-four more times I get to watch Brian Kinney fucking, so can I get some props over here, please? Thank you. Brian asks Ted why he chose him. Ted: "My mother couldn't do it. Michael and Emmett couldn't do it. But you could. Because you're a heartless shit. You can pull the plug, and you wouldn't cry. And you'd know when it was time to go." He pats Brian on the cheek and walks out of the room. Brian actually looked wounded at the "heartless shit" part, so I guess self-absorption isn't necessarily self-awareness. Oh, well. Better luck next episode.

Babylon! Brian and Mike are in the middle of the dancing hordes, moving just enough that we can't quite notice that neither of them can dance. Brian yells at Mike over the loud music, "I want it to be you," and then repeats it when Mike can't hear him. Mike grins, "I want it to be you, too. You pull my plug." Brian, smiling: "And you pull mine." And Michael and Brian boogie the night away. Very cool. I like this show much better when everyone's nice to each other without taking any shit. I give this episode a B+, actually. It doesn't get an A because Melanie still exists and Brian's sex scenes are becoming more random than usual, but I'm kind of at loss here. If I'm going to be recapping true quality programming, I'll have to check out the West Wing recaps and see how it's done.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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