Liberty Diner. The drag queen working the counter calls out and tells Debbie she has a phone call. I'm not sure we actually needed more than one drag queen this episode, but I guess when you've got a hammer, you might as well use it. Debbie cheerfully answers the phone; it's Vic. Vic tells her not to panic, and then tells her he's been arrested, and not to tell anyone, not even Michael. Yeah, because that's going to happen. Cut to Vic sitting in front of a desk at the police station, his back to the camera. He tells her that he was at the mall, and he went to pee. Debbie interrupts, "What did they charge you with, not flushing?" Personally, I've always thought that should be a crime. Zoom around Vic; the little flashing light closes in as Vic responds, "Indecent exposure." Vic swears that he's innocent, but asks Debbie to come down to the station, and bring his meds with her, because he's an hour late in taking them. I don't know how these things work, exactly, but wouldn't most people take some with them? I mean, for something that important, wouldn't you carry along extra? Debbie tells him not to worry about anything; she's on her way.
Babylon! Emmett and True Love Guy are still standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring at each other, transfixed. Classical music that I know that I should recognize plays in the background as Emmett gasps, "I can't explain it. It's like we've known each other --"And TLG picks up, "-- all of our lives." God, this is dumb. Emmett continues, "Exactly. It's like I've been waiting for you." And True Love Guy adds, "And I've been waiting for you." And me without my insulin. Emmett: "Two halves of the same soul --" True Love Guy: "-- that have finally met." Emmett says that it's "wild." Emmett then pulls back into West Side Story and babbles, "Look, I know this is rather forward of me -- I mean, I realize that we just met -- but would you mind, that is?" True Love Guy tells him to go right ahead, and they kiss. And then, Quick Flash to the Back Room of Sex, where True Love Guy is getting the ultimate fake blow job from Emmett. TLG's moaning and groaning all over the place. Peter Paige's head keeps moving around frenetically, and it still looks totally fake, but then I get kind of concerned, because, wait, is that what it's supposed to look like? Huh. Oh well -- as Elvira said, "No complaints yet." TLG finally comes, screaming, eyes crossed, yada yada. Other people in the Backroom of Sex applaud their performance, and then go back to their respective hotgaymalesex acts. Emmett gets off his knees and, delicately wiping the corners of his mouth (oh, TMI!), asks, "Was that all right, my love?" True Love Guy gasps, "It was like Christmas, and New Year's, and my birthday all rolled up into one." Emmett frowns, "Not the Fourth of July?" TLG catches his breath and growls, "Well, I'm saving that for you!" And throws Emmett against the wall. Whaddaya think, this crap will end up being? Say, ten minutes of my life I'm never getting back?