Queer as Folk U.S.
The Leper, or, "Hath The Babe Not Eyes?"

Episode Report Card
Camper: B+ | Grade It Now!
Where's the Love?

The park. Mike and Brian push Gus in a swing. Mike says the scene with Debbie was straight out of The Twilight Zone. Brian says that his favorite episode was "where you could trade your old body for a hot new one." Surprised? Mike mutters that Debbie wished he wasn't gay. Brian's taken aback at that one, but smiles, "Well, I'll always be happy that you're a big queer." They kiss and a woman passing by comments that they make a beautiful couple. And then starts to coo at Gus. And then adds that Gus looks just like...Mike. Mike cracks up. Brian nods, "You know, she's right." Mike's like, uh, no, Gus looks just like Brian. Brian meant that Debbie was right: "You should forget Ben." Mike grouses, "What the fuck do you know?" Brian says that he knows advertising, and he knows Mike: "Those ads you see for the cocktails, with the great-looking guys skiing and mountain climbing? Like all you have to do is pop a little protease inhibitor and you, too can have the time of your life. But it's just kind of tough to go downhill racing when you have non-stop diarrhea." Well, not if there's a restroom at the bottom. Mike says that he can handle it. Brian shrugs, "Then handle it. Kiss it. Jerk it off. Just don't fall in love with it."

The White House. Nancy opens the door, and there's Melanie, dead serious in her black leather jacket. She stalks past Nancy into the living room, where Ron is fully upright and swinging a tennis racket. He thinks it's George and Barbara showing up for their doubles game. Oops! He has the grace to look ashamed when it's not. Melanie congratulates him on his recovery. Ron shrugs, well, you know these back injuries, heh, they come and go! Ha. Nancy sighs that this is all very awkward. You created this situation, lady. Deal. Melanie replies, "'Awkward'? That you couldn't come over to our house for a couple of hours? Lindsay's been working her ass off for you. Would it have been so fucking hard to show up?" Ron and Nancy admonish her for her language. Melanie continues, "Your excuses are bullshit. All she wants from you is to show her a little support." Nancy snaps that Mel and L. are only interested in their money. Ron thinks that's going a little too far, but Nancy wants to lay it out on the table. Melanie sighs, "Look, I know what you think about me. I'm the slick Jew lawyer come to shake you down for a few sheckels. The dyke who corrupted your daughter. Well, you're wrong. I'm Lindsay's loving partner, and Gus's adoring mother. And I know that I will never cause him the pain that you've caused her. He'll never have to wonder whether or not I love him." Melanie leaves Ron and Nancy staring self-righteously at each other.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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