Liberty Diner. Debbie hands Ted and Emmett menus as Brian joins them in the booth. Debbie chuckles, "So, how did it go last night, 'Daddy'?" Brian groans, and asks her not to use that word in his presence. Debbie replies that someone certainly is grouchy today. "That's what happens when you tend to a tot, see? Not an easy job. I'm proud of you, Brian, huh? Sacrificing the Leather Ball?" Ted and Emmett are like, not so fast, there. Emmett drawls, "Altruism is his middle name." Ted catches the pass and dunks it: "Is that what the 'A' stands for?" What, it doesn't stand for "Able"? Debbie bubbles that she never thought Brian would do something like that in a million years, and she's impressed. Justin walks up at the end of that, and is like, uh, I'm -- Brian pulls him down and whispers, "Give me up, and I'll tie your balls up so tight, they'll ache for a week." Justin's not sure; is this punishment? Brian confirms that it surely is. Justin smiles sweetly at Debbie and just says he "helped." Debbie's proud of him, too. Emmett interrupts to say that "all this talk about babies has given [him] a craving for the baby back ribs." There's something quite unsettling about that. Ted starts, "I'll have the, uh --" Emmett continues, "Tuna fish on white bread." Debbie picks it up, "Double mayo." Brian continues, "With coleslaw." Justin brings it home: "With vanilla pudding." Ted swears, "Christ, am I really that predictable?" Debbie: "No, honey, you're just reliable." Ted grumps, "Thanks ever so." Tee hee! Emmett shakes his head: "It's just not your style to be spontaneous. Wild! Reckless!" Ted grouches, "No, it's my style to never take chances, never let myself go, never put my ass in a sling. I mean, on the line." Debbie's like, chill, it's only lunch. Ted: "In that case, I'll have the Cajun catfish, the Thai noodles, and the papaya mango salsa on the side." Debbie: "Letting go does not mean getting the runs." Brian, never one to forgo a knife twist, pats Ted on the hand and smirks, "It doesn't matter what you eat. You'll always be old, old, reliable Ted."
Pittsburgh at large. Mike's trying: "You know, it's amazing how you can live in a city all your life, and never realize how many wonderful sights and attractions there are. For instance, who knew that there was something called 'The Scream Machine' at the Carnegie Science Center? Experiencing G-force was certainly a stomach-turning, nail-biting science education for me." Hank says nothing. Mike continues: "What made it even more memorable was the large pepperoni pizza we'd shared moments before." I'll bet. Hank asks whether they may go home now. Mike's like, what, miss something I'm not even going to bother transcribing because David's such a control freak and I'm tired of him? Hank doesn't answer. Mike stops him and says, "Look, I know this isn't easy for you -- you know, having a dad who's...well, different from other fathers, and I'm sure it doesn't make it easier seeing him with me." Hank shrugs, "So he's gay. Big deal. I've only known about it since I was, like, nine." Mike asks why Hank's not psyched to be there, and Hank explodes: "He drives me nuts! He's got to have every single moment planned: the Incline, the Museum, the Aquarium. I mean, that may have been fun when I was kid, but how many times can you see fish?!" Mike laughs, "Why don't you ever tell him to back off?" Hank: "Have you ever tried telling him to back off?" Word. Mike agrees that the kid has a point, but David just wants Hank to have a good time. Hank looks in one of the store windows and gasps, "Oh, my God, check it out! Scorpionhead, #34!" Mike's amazed too: "Holy shit, I've been looking for that my entire life!" So has Hank. Mike says that you can't even find that comic on eBay, it's so rare. They groove on how cool Scorpionhead is, and romp into the store to take a look.