Queer as Folk U.S.
The Ties That Bind

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Ouch! That's Gotta Hurt.

David's. Mike's on his way to work. David, carrying a cardboard box, cheerfully asks for a hand cleaning out the guest room. Mike apologizes for not moving some of his stuff beforehand, jaunts up the stairs to grab a box, and asks when "he" is arriving. David says 7:30, "if the plane's on time." And God help it if it's not. Mike laughs that David must be pretty excited; David kisses him and grins, "I've been counting the days since summer." Mike says that that's a long time. David says that Oregon's really far away, but he's on "his" Buddy List and they email. David gushes that he can't wait for Mike to meet his son, then goes on to talk about how amazing the kid is: "He's smart, he's funny, he can play tenor sax, he can do websites, he juggles." At the same time? I'd like to see that. And sell tickets. Seriously, I could use the cash. Mike sarcastically replies, "Great. When does he have time to do brain surgery?" Yeah, you wish. No, actually, I wish. Sigh. Mike adds that he sounds great. David says that the kid's going to love Mike, too. Mike's not so sure, and asks how David knows. David grins, "Who wouldn't?" Nah. Too easy. Let's move on. Dave opens up one of the boxes, and pulls out a pair of Captain Astro boxer shorts. "I've not seen these before," he guffaws. Embarrassed, Mike snatches them from him and puts them back in the box: "Well, maybe someday you will."

Ted's office building. Ted and Emmett walk down the stairs to go to lunch. Emmett is wearing tight red plaid pants, and a furry red jacket, under which I hope to God is just a tight black turtleneck. I suppose I should be happy that it matches, but I keep thinking back to a couple of seasons ago on Buffy, when I had to stop watching because I ended up screaming, "What the hell are you wearing?!" at the screen so many times, my neighbors complained. Ted's wearing his usual brown sweater vest/ white button-down combo, and snaps, "Couldn't you have worn something more discreet?" Emmett. Baby. Gimme a break, already. Emmett replies, "As long as your erogenous zones are covered, you're safely in the conservative column." According to who, Carmen Electra? Emmett continues, "Besides, I tried straight drag? And saw the light, thank God." No middle ground with these people. Emmett switches gears and asks Ted what he wants to get for lunch, suggesting sushi. Ted snorts, "Just what I need. Food poisoning." Emmett then suggests Indian Food. Ted predicts heartburn. Ribs? Ted groans, "Heart attack. You know what I could really go for? Tuna fish on white bread, potato chips, cole slaw, vanilla pudding." Emmett replies that that's what Ted always has. Just then, someone walking down the stairs after them calls Ted's name. Ted looks up and sees a tall, beefy blond guy with spiky hair, carrying a briefcase. Ted asks, amazed, "Dale Wexler?" They shake hands, confirming that they haven't seen each other in years. Emmett, curious as all hell, clears his throat. Ted introduces his friend, adding, "He's not from these parts." Heh. Dale Wexler says it's nice to meet him, and Emmett drawls, complete with elevator look, "You, too." Ted says that the last thing he heard, Dale had set up offices in Baltimore, and Dale replies that he's also in Cincinnati, and now in Pittsburgh. Ted wows that that's great: "You're doing so well -- of course, we all knew you would!" Dale smugly replies that life's been good, and asks how Ted's doing. Ted says that he's working at the same place, and Dale snorts, "Christ, I would have thought you would have left Wershafter by now." Ted nods, "Well, you know, his personal appeal and selfless generosity were just too hard to resist." Dale checks his watch and says he has to get going; he's got to take a client out to lunch: "This new Indonesian place, have you tried it?" Emmett snorts, "Who, him?" Ted jumps up to say that he hasn't, but he's been meaning to! Yeah, right. Once Dale walks off, Emmett asks how Ted knows him, and is told that they went to B-School together. Emmett thinks Dale's pretty cute, and Ted agrees that he always thought so, too: "I hear he's a real mover. He became a millionaire before he was thirty." Emmett wonders what Dale's secret was and Ted snorts, "I'll probably never know."

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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