On the stairs, Michael and Brian have an entire conversation without needing to raise their voices over the loud, pulsing music. Michael tells Brian that he bails every time something big happens. Brian bails on the conversation. Michael tells Brian that he's afraid to let anyone know that he loves them: "That you have feelings like the rest of us." Michael leans down to Brian's ear and says, "It's okay to be human, you know." I'd be all, "What? I can't hear you over the house beat! I refuse to hear corny gestures and clichéd writing when I'm trying to dance, motherfucker! I just wanna dance! I'm Brian Fuckin' Kinney, my motherfuckin' brother!" Because at this point, why not. We've seen this fucking scene three hundred times already. Might as well shake it up at some point. Brian says that the real reason he's bailing is because he'd rather get laid. To finish off the scene we've seen a million times, Brian plants a big one on Michael's mouth and then leaves. Ben's right there asking Mikey if Brian always kisses him like that. "About four times a year," Michael lies. "Usually when he's really drunk or he wants me to shut up." Or when you're doing drugs in a bathroom stall. Or when you're lonely. Or when he's lonely. Or when you're eating Chinese food. Or when it's Tuesday. Ben kisses Michael's neck and says none of the fifty things he has every right to say at this point.
Debbie's teaching Vic how to take an order. Debbie says it's as easy as reading an order and then making it. She tells Vic that there's never any reason to panic, and that she'll be there the entire time. She winks and pops her gum. She gives a thumbs-up and walks off.
A pouty Mel and Lindz walk into the diner and plop down on some stools. Mel orders a couple of black coffees to go. Why the diner for coffee? Lindsay is very upset. Seems the jewelers have lost their wedding rings, which were engraved with their names. Justin offers to let them use his nipple rings. Lindsay thanks him and says it just wouldn't be the same. Mel says that Mercury's not going to fuck up their wedding. Except for now. Justin, the ringbearer, decides that now is the perfect time to tell the girls he's not coming to the wedding because he's going to be coming in Miami. Debbie's unhappy that Justin's so selfish. Lindsay and Mel say that Justin deserves the vacation, and wish him a good time.
Outside the diner, Mel's livid that Brian's fucking up their wedding by stealing the ringbearer. Lindsay moans that it doesn't matter, since there aren't any rings, anyway. Her cell phone rings. Lindsay doesn't understand a word the woman on the phone is saying. "It must be the caterer," Mel says, taking the phone. Weren't they going with the snooty French place? Mel calls the caterer a "bleeding asshole," and then threatens to sue the place. "Oh, that word you understand!" she says as she hangs up the phone. Lindsay asks what's going on. Mel tells her that the caterer and the hall have been shut down by the health department for salmonella food poisoning. And she still wants them to cater? Lindsay gets another panic attack and has to lie down on a bus bench that advertises a funeral home, reminding us how good the hour of television was before we changed the channel to Showtime.