Mike's. Mike grumbles that the comic is stuck at six thousand dollars. Brian pushes the price up to seven thousand, even though there's only thirty seconds left. Someone in the ether bids eight thousand dollars. Debbie urges Mike to take it, take it, but Mike explains that it's not the way it works; he has to take whatever the highest bid is at the end. Someone else bids nine thousand. Debbie shrieks that she can't look and buries her head into the top of her son's, covering his eyes with her talons. Mike has to push her off. With ten seconds to go, the bid is still stuck on nine thousand dollars. Mike's sweating. With five seconds to go, even Brian's sweating. Then, with, like two seconds to go, the bid goes up to ten thousand dollars. Cue laughter! Screaming! Jumping around! Debbie shrieks, "Oh, and to think I used to yell at you for reading them!" Mike grabs Brian and kisses him! Brian grins in relief.
Later at Woody's, Emmett congratulates Mike on buying the store: "Finally I can get a fabulous discount on something I have no desire to own. Why couldn't your dream have been cashmere?" Melanie says that her grandfather owned a dry-goods store and he used to say, "Better to work for yourself, than some meshugine ganif!" ["That's Yiddish for 'crazy thief,' by the way." -- Wing Chun] Is that true, Wing? ["Yes and no. Sigh." -- Wing Chun] Lindsay laughs, "He knew what he was talking about, even if no one else did!" This time, Brian grabs Mike and kisses him. Mike asks why. Brian grins, as he always does, "You are so pathetic." Mike's not sure where this is going. Brian's all, what if it didn't work out? Mike shrugs, "Well, then I guess I'd have no money, no job, no nothing." Brian grins, "Nothing but the biggest balls in the whole fucking world." And about damn time, too. Ted shuffles over to the table, carrying shots for everyone. They're all happy to see him, but surprised. Brian speaks for everyone when he smirks, like, isn't Ted supposed to be home, jerking off? Ted thanks his friends for helping him through this tough time. He's finally ready to become a productive member of society again. He explains, "I want to give back to the community, feel a sense of pride, of purpose." So he's quitting his job. And, uh, starting his own porn website. Huh. ["It's a pretty good idea, actually. Porn sells." -- Wing Chun] Brian snorts and knocks back his shot. Mike chirps with commercial-like enthusiasm, "Well, at least he's following his dream!" Hal and Gale fake big, cheesy happy expressions at each other and raise their glasses at each other. Bwa! Well, as long as guys acknowledge what's going on here, huh?