Ben is wearing his hair differently these days. He's leaning over, reading something. Oh, shit. My bad. That's Melanie. She asks Lindsay a question about Gus and Lindsay answers the question. I guess they're still pretending to have a kid for our benefit. Ladies, just tell us you got rid of Gus. Everything would make more sense. Then I'd see how you girls can always be out together, doing things and spending money. Lindsay pounces the bed and rolls on Melanie's work like my cat does when he wants me to pet him. Mel takes off her glasses and pets Lindsay's head. They talk about how exhausted they look. Mel tells Lindsay to roll over and gets a little forceful at slapping Lindsay over. Lindsay squeals with delight. That Gus must sleep like my mom. Mel sits on Lindsay's back and grabs a bottle of lotion. She's wearing only boys' underwear. She tells Lindsay that she's going to love what Mel's about to do. She Mr. Miagyi's the lotion and starts massaging Lindsay's back. Lindsay moans that it feels good. Mel tells her to let all the tension go. Just as Mel lifts Lindsay's shirt mostly up her back, Leda "I Don't Do Knocking" Meddler walks right into their bedroom and tells them she finished the floors. Good, because the baby's sleeping. They have Leda just working at all hours? Mel tells Leda she's happy the floors are finished. Leda says good night. Lindsay, wishing she was walking off with Leda, says good night back. Once Leda's gone, Lindsay starts worrying over her choice of wood for the floors. Mel tries to get Lindsay back in the mood. Just like a man, she massages Lindsay for about 0.3 seconds and then starts trying to make out. It's not a back massage if you're just touching skin on your way to having sex. That doesn't count and it's called a trick. Melanie makes Lindsay roll over so she can start massaging Lindsay's breasts. Mel says it's a special form of massage called foreplay. They start kissing. Mom moves slightly on the couch and I hit the mute button so that the noisiness of the kisses on this show doesn't stir her from her slumber. Lindsay says she's missed this, and I can't believe she doesn't accidentally call Mel "Leda" here. They're making out and we get a shot of Mel's mouth on Lindsay's breasts as they overlay this really loud "Oh, you're so hot." It's such a HBO porn scene, right here. All monotone and moaning without any real action. Lindsay starts making noises and I feel bad for Leda and Gus at the same time. Lindsay yawns and tells Mel she's hot as well. Mel curls her hands around Lindsay's breasts and rests her head in between them. Boom. They're asleep.