Queer as Folk U.S.
You Can Leda Girl To Pussy…

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Good Old-Fashioned Softcore Porn

Previously: Emmett was offensive. Ben snapped at Michael. Brian -- who doesn't believe in birthdays -- for some reason was at Ben's birthday party when it was Justin's birthday? Whatever. Debbie hated Ben. Justin met a fiddler with a soulpatch and was smitten. Flavor Savor loved him back. Lindsay thought that Brian was deaf and yelled at him for an entire scene. Ben's sick. Not that they'll even address that this episode.

Outside Babylon. Brian pounces on Justin and tells him that he wants to fuck him. Wants to fuck him real good, all night. They make out as extras talk too loudly around them. I mentioned this in the recaplet, but I had to watch this episode the first time next to my sleeping mother. I just love how it started with men talking about fucking each other and then ramming tongues. Just in case my mom was a light sleeper. Luckily, she's not. Justin asks if Brian gets enough. Brian says he doesn't. Justin, for a reason I can't figure out, pouts and asks if they can save it until the weekend. Because Justin hates sex, doesn't he? Brian asks if they can save it until they get to the car. Justin says he was thinking of the two of them going snowboarding. Because he's got all that whore go-go dancing money saved up. If there's one thing Justin hasn't learned yet, it's the value of a dollar. He's basically asking Brian to pay for the two of them to go snowboarding in Vermont at this cabin that Daphne (who? I don't know this Daphne. We haven't seen this Daphne before, have we? I sort of remember Justin having a friend -- some pretty girl -- but that was before he alienated all of his friends by insulting their sexuality) and her boyfriend went to. Nice. Every room has a Jacuzzi and a fireplace. So, you know, it's totally cheap. Brian mocks Justin, saying he hopes there are mints on the pillows. Justin slams his hands into his jacket and pouts, "I forgot. Brian Kinney doesn't do romance." Uh, not when he gets the milk for free, gold-digging slut. Weren't you just drooling over your teenage Mozart a second ago? Figure out which face you want Brian to kiss, okay? Brian says he doesn't need an excuse to fuck. Justin says that Brian also doesn't need an excuse to turn him down. Justin tells Brian to admit he doesn't want to go away with Justin for the weekend. Brian admits that he doesn't, and then swoops in on his white horse and declares he'd rather go away for "the whole fuckin' week." My hero! Justin and Brian keep walking away from each other and then back together. This blue-light alley is huge and quiet, given that it's an alley full of people next to a dance club. I can't even see Brian as he stands in the dark and says he can find somebody who is interested in going if Justin doesn't want to. Threats. The backbone of any good relationship. Brian smarms up to a stranger and asks if he wants to go away with Brian for a week to a cabin with Jacuzzis and fireplaces. Nobody bites, since everybody's already fucked Brian before. Justin asks if Brian's serious. They finally emerge from the darkness. Brian tells us that Justin's about to go on Spring Break and Brian's about to make partner. He says that entitles him to a week of snowboarding. Justin jumps into Brian's arms and they kiss.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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