Ravenswood
Believe

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 25 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
P-U-S-H-O-Double F
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

I don't even know, bro. Everybody died! Most of them got better. Remy is putting together a dossier on everybody else that has ever died, or not died. Caleb's best friend is a ghost with mommy issues. The Twins have a supernatural power of always bitching, and their Mom is seriously great. The Grunwald took Collins to task for his messy room, and that awesome groundskeeper guy the Pretty Little Liars met is dead as hell.

THE FUNERAL

The new groundskeeper is Springer, the messy dude that is always dicking with Luke and maybe is dating Tess or maybe got dumped by Tess, or maybe they never dated and we just aren't actually privy to the nuts and bolts of Springer. I hate him. He is mean to Luke, which would be fine except it makes Luke a) cry and b) act like a douche, and he was already going to do those things anyway.

What Springer's up to today is, digging Miranda's grave! This involves your usual gravedigging, but also multiple appearances of the random unkindness of ravens that constantly shows up when things aren't quite spooky enough. The camera has a succession of seizures, Springer finishes up the hole, and that's it for now with Springer.

Uncle Collins stares all around and looks like Springer's hot older uncle, and things are as usual at the funeral home. He purses his lips while he's drawing on Miranda's dead lips on her face, and then snips a lock of her hair, because those are two weird things you can do.

Miranda is complainy about how nobody is coming to her funeral except Caleb, but then everybody in town shows up anyway. Caleb is wearing Uncle Collins's old suit and looks smashing. I wonder what it smells like. I am going to say Cool Water. One thing it does not smell like is, garlic.

Caleb: "Are you deader yet?"
Miranda: "There is no tunnel with a light at the end, if that's what you mean. I feel like when my horrible childhood left me at school all evening and the sun went down and I realized I didn't matter to society."
Caleb: "I know this doesn't help whatsoever, but I am going to figure out this Curse. That way I won't also be dead. I hope it cheers you up."

The Grunwald: "You look nice in that suit."
Caleb: "You look nice in that witch costume."

Miranda: "Explain who all these people are at my funeral. I didn't get to meet them before I killed all of us that time the other day."

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Ravenswood

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